This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, retirees, and those soon to retire find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after retirement. Her public lecture on this subject is titled: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class, is available by clicking here Amazon.com. Click here for her website: http://AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com
Now, on to my blog:
A friend recently told me that my default position is positive. I’d never thought of it like that. Yes, our natural inclination as well as our life experiences do give us a default position. It’s that mode we always return to no matter what happens to us.
Default positions range on a scale from positive to negative, and there are infinite degrees in between. What is your default position? Is it satisfying to you?
In my case, when something upsetting or unsettling happens in my life, I may get bummed out. However, I don’t seem to be able to stay down for very long. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad or never get depressed. However, I automatically boomerang back toward the positive end of the spectrum. It comes naturally, and I don’t think about it. I don’t know why I’m like that.
Those whose default position tends toward the ill-natured extreme may long to move their needle closer to the other end. When such a tendency doesn’t come naturally, can you do anything to change it, or are you forever stuck defaulting toward that negative boundary? My take is that you can change a long ingrained tendency, but only if you want it enough and are willing to work long and hard to achieve it.
I have had experiences in my life where my natural inclination was toward a position I hated. I’m thinking of my decades-long worry of incurring the disapproval of others. In my younger years, it was always so hard for me to stand up to people–to rock the boat. If called upon to do something I didn’t want to, I’d often go along with it (nothing ever destructive) so people wouldn’t dislike me. It took years and a lot of internal struggle to reach a more satisfying position. Probably the seeds of my original tendencies will always exist within me. However, I’m in control now, and I no longer put up with bossy, bullying, or over-bearing humans.
So, yes, it is possible to change. Figure out how badly you want to do so, the steps you need to take, and go to it. It may be daunting, scary, intimidating, overwhelming, and on and on. Nevertheless, DO IT ANYWAY! It could change your life.
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