Impatience

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, and those facing retirement find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after they retire. Her public lecture on this subject is titled, “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class, is available by clicking on this link: Amazon.com.  Click here for her website: AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com

CHITCHAT: In my last blog, I mentioned that I was going to be in a 2016 Super Bowl commercial for Toyota Prius. For those of you who watched and didn’t see me, it appears that the sponsor substituted another commercial at the last minute. The commercial I was in is titled “Heck on Wheels.” It can still be seen on YouTube.com and has had over a million and a half hits. I play the woman with a poodle dog. Here is the link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxIIi6SVuII

Now, on to my blog:

Do you “fly off the handle” on a regular basis? Do you know others who do? As I get older, I find myself becoming more and more impatient. I get antsy when I have to wait for service; I feel irritated with inane chatter; I’m uptight when anything takes too long. It’s hard to remain patient when others are inefficient, screw up, or are lackadaisical.

I’ve never been particularly patient, but I’m getting worse. Does that happen to others, or am I the only one? My gut as well as stories I’ve heard and personal observations suggest that it’s common in the boomer and senior demographics.

What does impatience do for the practitioner? Does it really make the inciting situation any better? What is the downside of such behavior? When I do it, it just causes me to be more upset for a longer period of time. When I am the recipient of it, I become angry and feel like defending myself or engaging in payback. Impatience is a destructive emotion to the sender and to the receiver.

Certainly, one cause of impatience has to do with aging. Another contributing factor, though, may be living in a technological world. We have become used to immediate gratification in so many areas that did not exist in previous times. We can grab our smart phones and find out within seconds the answer to almost anything that used to require consulting an expert or making a physical trip to the library. We can communicate instantly by email what used to require a letter or a phone call with its concomitant telephone tag games and actual conversation starting with time-wasting niceties.

Living in a town or city of thousands or millions, however, still requires patience. None of us can get immediate gratification on everything. We still have to wait our turn in the queue. So, what do we do when we become impatient?

As many do, we can whip out our technology to entertain us, burying our heads in virtual reality. But, here’s another, old fashion idea: we can actually look around and enjoy our environment. We might watch a child play as we wait in line at the bank; feel the rain, the sun, the wind as it touches our skin while walking from the parking lot to our doctor’s appointment; observe the passersby and notice what they look like, what they are wearing, how they behave; listen to conversation while we wait for service at a retail establishment; and on and on.

There’s a free floor show out there, folks. From time to time, don’t forget to check out the non-virtual world, also known as the real world. You may find it far more fascinating, enlightening, and instructive than staring at little rectangular devices. And the upside is that it helps you to be more patient which is so much better than the opposite.

Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, either scroll down or look on the right side of this page and click on specific titles under “Recent Posts” or on specific dates under “Archives.” To opt out of receiving this blog, just let me know at the aforementioned email address, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Power of Touch

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, and those facing retirement find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after they retire. Her public lecture on this subject is titled, “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class, is available by clicking on this link: Amazon.com.  Click here for her website: AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com

CHITCHAT:  Here’s a link to a 2016 Super Bowl commercial (coming up on February 7, 2016) for Toyota Prius where I play the woman with a dog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZfIrXakHIE

Now, on to my blog:

(photo attributed to User:BartFuse)

Touch is one of our five major senses. We usually don’t think about it because the senses of sight and hearing seem so much more important. They are, of course, but don’t underestimate the power of touch. It allows us to experience temperatures, textures, pressure, and other tactile sensations.

Touch also helps make human connection. When communicating with another, we often include touching: patting someone on the hand, poking them in the chest, or clapping them on the back. We use such expressions as: touch a nerve, touch base, and touchy to describe feelings and behaviors.

It feels good to be touched and to touch another. We do it in intimate contact as well as social communication. We shake hands to connect more closely upon greeting each other. We link arms when walking which both helps us steady ourselves and feel closer to our companion. We may tap a listener on the hand or arm to emphasize a point which not only commands attention but also conveys a closer feeling between the two parties.

We derive comfort from touch. Parents touch their children as much as possible, or should, conveying to them a feeling of protection and love. Animals touch each other in herds, packs, pods, and all the other collectives, conveying a sense of belonging to a group. I saw a lovely video a while ago showing the first steps of different baby animals including the human kind. I remember the long black tongue of the giraffe mother licking her newborn to encourage it to try standing up. Other mothers of various breeds did the same or similar, sometimes nuzzling their young. None stood back while their offspring struggled alone. Touching them was urgent to aid in their progress.

We as self-contained, I’m-just-for-myself human beings can connect to one another using touch when other means are not within our comfort zone. For example, clapping someone on the shoulder encourages them. Holding hands enables bonding.

Another form of feel-good touching is hugging. There’s a camaraderie to that gesture.  Hugging friends or even acquaintances in a non-threatening but heartfelt way conveys a warmth, an acceptance. Hugging upon the initial encounter as well as the termination sends a message: “I’m happy to see you,” or “It’s been so nice being with you.”

Check out the wonderful, online video of a man in a well-trafficked, London square holding up a sign saying, FREE HUGS. People regarded him strangely at first, but soon someone took him up on his offer. Within a short time, a crowd gathered, and he had a lot of takers. Everyone seemed to be positive, upbeat, and enjoying the experience.

Some people have grown up in situations where touch was very limited, or touch feels offensive to them. If that describes you, practice slowly to bring touch into your life. Start with just one quick tap with your fingertip on another person’s hand or knee during a conversation. Take baby steps to increase your touch contact with others.

Don’t forget the importance of touch. Incorporate it into your life. It’s a win-win for both the touchor and the touchee. Start touching people in a non-threatening yet warm, caring manner. It’s a benefit for each party to the transaction.

Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, either scroll down or look on the right side of this page and click on specific titles under “Recent Posts” or on specific dates under “Archives.” To opt out of receiving this blog, just let me know at the aforementioned email address, and I’ll remove you from the list.