Covid and Me

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Well, I’d managed to dodge the Covid bullet throughout the 3.5 years since the lockdown which started March, 2020–until now. Yep, I woke up last week thinking I was just very tired. It never dawned on me that I might have Covid. I tried to shake it off and go about my daily business. However, a weakness settled over me, and all I seemed to crave were jumping into bed and sleeping.

I finally took a Covid test and then took a second one because I didn’t believe the first one. How could I have Covid? I am invulnerable.  But there it was, those two little lines staring at me. How, when, and where did I contract this dreaded disease of the decade?

I had returned only a few days earlier from a long road trip. Maybe it was somewhere along the way that I encountered someone or several someone’s breathing in my direction and letting loose a volley of Covid molecules which eventually settled inside of me. Perhaps it occurred after my return home, somewhere in my own ‘hood, where someone did the same. Of course, it’s impossible to know. And even if I were able to figure it out, what difference would it make? Here I am laid low with this inconvenient, albeit temporary–I hope–condition.

All of my plans and regular daily activities have been put on hold. Everything stops when you have Covid. Now, I’m back to the lockdown routine we all became so familiar with a few years ago. I am isolating at home lest I infect someone else; I am isolating at home so I can get better; I am isolating at home…

The difference between now and then are the miracle drugs humanity has discovered. I’ve been vaccinated, boosted, boosted, boosted, and boosted. I recently finished a five-day course of Paxlovid, that wonder medication to help my body fight back. Yes, I am willing to endure its side effects such as an odd taste in my mouth. That is mild compared to the destruction Covid is able to wrought. And, yes, I am back to wearing a mask if I do find myself near another human.

Today’s version is not the Covid of old that we so feared. I’ve never once thought that I would have to be hospitalized, put on a ventilator, and could die. No, the new Covid is more like a mild to moderate case of the flu. Nevertheless, it has clipped my wings. I don’t like it one bit, and I am disheartened when I see that second line show up on my Covid test each day. Yes, it’s taking longer and longer to appear, but there it is, edging in just under the 15 minute time limit–drat.

I’m ready for this to be over! I’m ready to move along with my life. I have places to go, people to see, and things to do. Covid is a roadblock that cramps my style. I feel guilty, complaining when millions have died.  Nevertheless, it feels good to rant. I hate it when my lifestyle is interrupted, especially by something as tiny as a virus. Begone, I say! Get the hell away from me, I say! I’m done with you, Covid!

Take care all. May you have a Covid free rest of your summer. But be prepared, as it could happen to anyone.

Photo credit: Anthony Quintano on Visualhunt

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Confrontation Vs. Retreat

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

When something uncomfortable, distasteful, or intimidating is suddenly thrust in our path, there are two main choices one can make. You can duck your head, retreat, and try to forget it, letting fate be the sole arbitrator of the issue. Or, you can confront the matter which will often cause anxiety and sleepless nights before and after you act. Unless you are in physical danger, the choice that will likely work out best for you is most often the latter. Confrontation or facing the matter full on, shaking though you may be, will let you take charge of your position, feelings, and all the other factors making the issue so unsettling to you, and you won’t be left carrying around those self-flagellating, I-should-have-said thoughts.

Traditional Maori warriors of New Zealand would make a face and stick out their tongues in a menacing manner when confronting enemies. They tried to present as fierce and frightening an appearance as possible with the hopes of gaining the upper hand in the conflict.

Win or lose, you will feel gratified that you stood your ground, had your say, and used your voice. You did not shrink away with your proverbial tail between your legs. That feels good!

We all become anxious over the idea of confronting something that another or many others oppose. We’re worried about consequences that may harm us. All the “what ifs” kick in:

What if he/she never speaks to me again!

What if I’m fired!

What if I’m ostracized by the group, class, tribe, world…!

Those “what ifs” are powerful and do serve a purpose. They cause us to weigh our actions, which is a good thing. If everyone in the world went off “half-cocked” during every interaction, we would live in continual chaos. However, the “what ifs” have a flip side. They can be crippling, preventing us from a course of conduct which might be healthy or beneficial to our own well-being–physical, mental, and/or emotional.

Consider, and then act with your needs as part of the mix. Retreat if that is the prudent course. But, confront when appropriate, even if it’s scary to do so. You will be the winner.

Photo credit: empty007 on VisualHunt

***

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Importance of Material “Stuff”

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

How important are material objects in our lives? They do, indeed, make the passing days more pleasant by offering assistance, comfort, and status. But, how does this “stuff” hold up against our interpersonal relationships?

We often observe young children bickering over toys to the point of physical violence. They hold their blocks, dolls, and gizmos close so the other kids in the sandbox can’t claim them as their own. We usually assume that they will grow out of such behavior. Sometimes they do, and sometimes…

My family lore contains a story about my great aunt and her sister-in-law by marriage. I’m not sure I’ve ever met either, although I have a vague recollection of the blood relative when I was young.

As the accounting goes, these two women had been close friends for many years. One day, after lunching together, they were strolling down the street and came upon a jewelry store. In the window was a sign offering free jewelry cleaning. Both women sported from their respective husbands of many years a fairly new, impressive, diamond wedding ring which had replaced their old, not so grand ones.

Our heroines decided what a great idea it would be to get their rings cleaned, so they walked in. The jeweler took the two items and put them into the cleaning machine. After the requisite amount of time, he returned the proffered rings all shiny and sparkly.

One of our actors looked at the ring she had been handed and said that it was the wrong ring–hers was the other one. Her soon-to-become opponent said that wasn’t so, and that she had been given her correct ring. A back-and-forth ensued, which turned into a full-fledged argument. The latter refused to exchange the rings, insisting her own property had been returned to her. This escalated into a major rift between the two women, never to be healed for the rest of their lives.

Have you had arguments over your material possessions? Are they so precious to you that you would sacrifice a close personal relationship over them? I guess if you plan to take the items to your grave with you as did the ancient Egyptian pharaohs in order to ensure a comfortable, luxurious stretch in the afterlife, then maybe such a sacrifice might be worth it. If not, perhaps you need to reevaluate what is truly important in your current life.

Photo credit: TVZ Design on VisualHunt.com

***

BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

One Man’s Kitsch is Another Man’s Objet d’Art

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

We each have our own sense of taste when it comes to what is or is not appealing. Ancient philosophers, both from the Greek and Roman eras, discussed and fixated on the nature of aesthetic properties. Leonardo da Vinci sketched “Vitruvian Man” as the ideal proportions for a human body. Nevertheless, beauty remains a matter of intense debate.

Today, we have contests to highlight who or what is the most perfect. There are beauty pageants for humans, dog shows for pooches, museums to house what is judged to be the best of the arts, and on and on.

We common folk also have our tastes. Just look around your neighborhood to see how people decorate their abodes. Most houses might be painted in gentle pastels, but there is that one in a garish, blaring hue. Although some might be outraged by it, the owner thinks it’s stunning.

Many years ago, I visited Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley. The guide told us that Elvis had not used a decorator but had made his own decisions on the furnishing of the mansion. My opinion: It’s amazing how someone with a lot of money and no taste can decorate. Elvis’ opinion: Isn’t it magnificent!

Where I live and in many similar, residential locations around the country, some seem to think it enhances the neighborhood to put out what they see as ornamental objects such as plastic flowers, small windmills, round glass balls, and the like. You can find these “decorations” suspended from trees, lining paths, hung from doors, and all other manner of locations. There are those I find to be a turnoff–kitsch to my eye. Maybe some find the flower pots outside of my front door the same.

It’s hard to come to common agreement on taste. We are each the result of different influences and backgrounds. Yet, we must get along. If someone shows irritation at your choice for public display, maybe you might relocate the object into your own personal residence. That way you can admire it without offending others. If you don’t care for that suggestion, I invite you to enjoy the pink, plastic flamingo I’m thinking of installing in my front yard.

Photo #1 credit: Mark Morgan Trinidad B on Visualhunt
Photo #2 credit: Sam Howzit on VisualHunt.com

***

BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Overscheduling

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Are you addicted to overscheduling, or do you know someone who is? Yes, we all seek out interesting things to do. Sometimes, what we find may be time sensitive, such as plays and exhibits, which may end by a certain date. Other times, we may be invited to an event that is a one-off.

It’s tempting to cram too many things into a single day. An overscheduler’s mindset might go something like this: Let’s see, if I set my dentist appointment in the morning, I can attend that concert in the afternoon and have enough time to make it to my aunt’s 95th birthday celebration dinner where I’ll stay for an hour and still be able to arrive just a little late to that club party I don’t want to miss. This is an extreme example, but it’s not far off from how many people live their lives.

Frenetic overscheduling short changes your focus or enjoyment of individual activities. Rather than steeping yourself in the moment, you are constantly checking your watch to make sure you wrap it up so as to get to the upcoming number on your dance card.

Much of your time is wasted just in travel alone from one appearance to the next. Then, of course, there is the question of your energy level. Those present at your final destination get to interact with the tired, irritable, and impatient version of you.

I had a friend years ago who was the master of overscheduling. She never seemed able to pay much attention to what was going on at the time as she was usually thinking about what was coming next. When I tried to confront her about this, she became defensive and angry. This is how she was used to structuring her life, and she wasn’t planning on changing, even if it meant that she never fully enjoyed anything.

I’ve also had situations where someone has bailed out at the last minute on an invitation to visit me because they were just too tired from their earlier activities that day. Oh yes, they were so sorry and hoped I would understand, but the upshot was that they left me hanging, and my plans were ruined. Never mind the time, energy, and effort I had expended preparing for our get-together: cleaning the house, arranging for food, getting myself ready, a reduced amount of attendees from what I had decided was the right number, and on and on.

When people pull behavior like the aforementioned examples, they establish a reputation for themselves. Then they wonder why friends stop inviting them. 

Don’t be a chronic overscheduler. Follow through with your commitments, and arrive rested and able to engage wholeheartedly with those whom you encounter. Allow plenty of decompression time in your schedule before embarking on the next happening. It will help you enjoy those that you do attend so much more.

***

BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Seeking Prince/Princess Charming

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Ah, Valentine’s Day is here again. That means that a special someone will bestow upon us a present as a gesture of his/her love of wonderful us? Or, does it?

Everyone is looking for the perfect partner. Does such an ideal exist? For a few lucky ones, the answer may be yes. However, for the majority of us, the reality is that no human being with all of their imperfections and foibles can meet all of the needs of another.

The only thing one can do is reduce expectations and compromise, or go without partnering. Neither choice is the ideal, but it is hoped that the seeker will find some modicum of happiness.

Many have filtered through numerous potential candidates and eventual partners, always looking for the better one just around the corner. Online dating sites have made this churning speedier and more efficient. However, the constant testing and discarding these sites enable prove wearisome and disappointing.

The truth is that finding your own Prince/Princess Charming is most likely a pipe dream. It always amazes me when some man complete with beer belly and bad breath posts his ideal candidate as young, slender, and attractive, or an unkempt woman seeks a fit, good looking, financially stable man. What planet are these people living on? And, are those the traits that will guarantee you compatibility and happiness together?

If you are seeking a perfect mate, stop fantasizing and realize that all of us are only human. After all, are you the perfect Prince or Princess Charming? Probably not, unless you stepped out of a book of fairy tales.

Photo credit: RavindanLEGO on VisualHunt

***

BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Stability

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

What is stability? One definition: restoration to the original state after knocked off equilibrium.

Stability can be a factor in many different areas of our lives. Financial stability means that we have enough money to meet our needs and enjoy a comfortable life. Emotional stability is when our thoughts are on an even enough keel to yield happiness and contentment. Physical stability happens when our balance is such that we can move with confidence of not falling. Spiritual stability occurs when we have settled on a faith or belief system that provides comfort to us. Cultural stability means that we are part of a group with shared behaviors and pursuits. Social stability is when our institutions provide a secure framework in which we can function successfully. Global stability comes about when the world’s countries have a working relationship which provides for the benefit of all inhabitants of our planet.

Why is stability important? Because, when we are trapped in its opposite: chaos, we are thrown into a constant state of agitation, uncertainty, and fear. Such a condition contributes to ongoing misery, a horrible way to live.

Some people seem to “roll with the punches” no matter what life hands them. Why is that? Part of the answer probably has to do with their inherent nature. However, another contributor might be that they grew up in relative stability in the aforementioned areas and are better able to weather life’s storms as adults. None of us makes it through unscathed; we all encounter disruptions as the years pass. A solid foundation and ongoing framework of stability leads to a better outcome after the hurricane is spent.

No country or institution has figured out a way to provide continuous and complete stability to its inhabitants or members. As with so many things, each group sits somewhere on a continuum from high to low. Their stability depends on many considerations: leaders, followers, environmental factors, the advancement of time, and the like.

Stability can change in an instant. Don’t take it for granted! Identify those things that create stability in your life, seek them out, nurture them, and cherish them. You will have a happier and probably longer life if you do.

Photo credit: Amaury Laporte on Visualhunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

A Sense of Community

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Synopses of her books follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Over the recent holidays, I took a car trip with my son. Wow, I had him all to myself without his family competing for his attention. Our halfway point was going to be a visit to my cousin and her husband where we would stay for a few days. We planned to do our laundry there. Shortly before our arrival, my cell phone rang.

“Bad news, Lee Gale, we both have Covid.”

Whoops, all of our plans had to turn on a dime. That’s an old fashion expression meaning an immediate segue to Plan B, which we hadn’t even formulated. We managed to find a hotel–thank you Internet–near another destination on our itinerary.

The next day, son went to visit friends, while I stayed behind, having volunteered to do our laundry. The hotel clerk directed me to a community laundromat a few blocks away. Dragging my rolling suitcase–thank you to whoever invented that–I pulled our dirty duds behind me.

Upon arrival, I realized I hadn’t used a public laundry facility for decades, and I wasn’t sure how it worked. My last time, I think I put a quarter in a slot. I walked in and found a bustle of humans, all dealing with walls of endless washers and dryers. The noisy machines were sloshing, whirling, or tumbling their contents. I approached an empty one with a puzzled look on my face. It seemed equipped to accept a plastic card, but not my type of credit card.

A thirtyish, hefty man came to my rescue. He explained the difference between the regular and the extra large washing machines, the latter meant for double loads. He showed me how to put my money into a pay slot in the wall to get a “wash card” and how to insert it in my washing machine of choice. He also watched over as I poured in the soap I had brought, advising me when it was enough. Finally, he tutored me on how the dryer worked, and that my wash card must be inserted first before I chose the temperature. With a little practice, I gained confidence and competency, loading my washer and controlling it with my wash card without a second thought. I returned to my benefactor.

“Oh, thank you so much. You’ve been such a big help. What’s your name?”

“It’s Hector, ma’am.”

“It’s nice to meet you Hector. My name is Lee Gale.”

Hector, my sweet bear of an angel, left the premises after retrieving his own laundry from a dryer. I’m sure I’ll never see Hector again, but he sure did make my day. He asked for nothing and only wanted to help a fellow human being. I saw other “regulars” mentoring “newbies” like me, too. This modern laundromat is not so different from when our ancestors washed their clothes at the riverbank, chatting and gossiping as they worked. Lifelong friendships are forged that way.

What had started out as an anticipated, dull chore, turned into an experience of warmth, support, and camaraderie–a real sense of belonging. Yes, a community can be established anywhere over a shared goal. It only takes caring, supportive folks whose aim is to get a foothold, become productive members, and pass their knowledge along to the next guy.

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Neon People

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Synopses of her books follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Who are neon people? They are humans who do something to stand out. They might wear neon clothing while bicycling to make sure they can be seen easily and therefore avoid being hit by cars. “Neon personhood” can be expanded from that example.

Some people just seem to draw attention. It might be their looks, attractive or not; it might be their clothing, expensive or not; it might be their behavior, proper or not. But there’s something about them that makes others turn and observe.

Are you a neon person? Some people are natural neons. They don’t think twice about it. It’s simply who they are.

There’s just so much attention in the world to go around. Humans compete with each other for it. Winners of those contests get more, losers less. However, we all deserve some. If attracting it is not natural to you, how do you grab a portion? How do you become a neon person?

The best way is to study the natural neons of this world. What is it about them? Perhaps you can incorporate some of those traits into your own behavior. If it feels odd, uncomfortable, or not your style, try it out. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. I’ve written on this topic in this forum before. (Click on these links and scroll down to read my blogs of March 6, 2017: “Strutting Your Stuff,” and October 6, 2015: “Getting Noticed.”)

You don’t have to be the hit of the party; you don’t have to be the most lavishly dressed. However, with some minor alterations and a drizzle of behavior modification, you might share some of that attention with the neons who so often seem to suck it up and hold onto it for themselves.

Rehearse at some gatherings you attend during this holiday season. Just like a recipe, start slowly flashing a bit of neon. The next time you have an opportunity, show a little more. Increase gradually and reassess after each time. Soon you will hit your sweet spot–just the right amount of neon that suits you. It’s different for everyone.

Have a happy holiday season! I’ll connect with you again next year.

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Churners

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: I was recently interviewed for an online article sponsored by CVS Drug Stores. It includes a few personal photographs you might enjoy. Click here to read the interview.

Now, on to my blog:

What is a churner? It is one who operates a device used to convert cream into butter by manipulating a rotating mechanism inside a churn (container). Work the churn long enough and, abracadabra, you have a rich, flavorful toast topper.

Some people are also churners but without the need of a churn. What do such churners do, you might ask? Well, they churn (agitate), of course. Bring a churner into a compatible group, and suddenly things become chaotic. What was once calm and stable changes to disruptive, divisive, and even combative. Certain personality types always seems to interject discord wherever they go.

Do you know anyone who is a churner? Possibly you are a churner yourself. As you’ve ascertained by now, I’m not talking about the guy/gal at the helm of a butter churn. What I’m talking about is the type who is always “churning up the waters” as the expression goes.

Why do churners behave like that? They probably don’t even know themselves. Some of it may have to do with attention seeking, but I suspect it’s deeper than that. It’s as basic as wanting to be in control. Churners like to disturb the calm and foment constant controversy and worry on the part of their victims. If you push everyone else off kilter, then you can swoop in and take over. It’s a power grab technique! Churner types manage to get themselves into advantageous positions so they can wreak havoc on those over whom they wield such power.

Some in leadership roles use churning techniques as a management style. Politicians are often particularly adept churners. Churners can also be found much closer to home in the form of spouses, significant others, children, family members, teachers, employers, and the like. Whenever life seems to be going smoothly, you can bet your last shekel that they will be the ones to disrupt it.

How do you withstand a churner who has power over aspects of your life? How do you cope with his/her never ending threats, innuendos, loud asides, snide remarks, cruel nicknames, dismissals, put-downs, etc? There is only one way to survive anyone of this type, and that is to take away their power. Yes, I am aware of how difficult that is. Here’s a mantra you might use: Never want or need anything he/she has the power to give or take away. That’s pretty hard to do when the leverage they have over you is something like your employment, your school grades, or your private life. However, it is the only way to slither out from under their control.

One technique when the craziness starts is to back away, decamp, get the hell out of there. Another option is confrontation which may sound something like this: “Oh, I see you’re churning again, so I’ll just leave.” Then, most importantly, follow through. When you do, they’ll stop because it’s not much fun to churn alone. After all, they need ingredients (aka: you) to create the butter they crave.

If the situation becomes intolerable, make your plans to escape. If the relentless churner in your life is a boss, start thinking about transferring out of his/her department or looking for another job. If it is a spouse, start making your plans to wiggle out of the situation. If the churner has financial power over you, you may need to get a job if you don’t have one. If you lack skills, go to school or to a training program to acquire the expertise which will enable you to find employment and become financially independent.

I first heard that strategy discussed by a co-worker many years ago. She told me that soon after her young marriage, she realized she had made a terrible mistake in her choice of a husband who proved to be a controlling alcoholic. By that time, she was pregnant and dependent on him. So, she started making her plans. She went to college part-time which took many years before she graduated and was able to find a decent paying job. By the time she did so and left her husband, she had two children.

If you are burned out from forever being agitated by a churner in your life, do something about it. Map out your tactics, put them into effect, and stick to them no matter how long it takes, which could be years. You must be farsighted and forge a course of action for yourself. Only then can you work toward achieving your independence.

Photo credit: quinet via Visual hunt / CC BY

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.