Props

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Synopses of her books follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: On August 2, 2021, I was interviewed on LA Talk Radio “The Polished Woman.” To listen to the podcast, click here: https://www.latalkradio.com/content/polished-080221, hit play, and slide the button on the progress bar to 13:29 minutes.

Now, on to my blog:

Have you ever known someone who is always on, always performing, usually to direct attention to him/herself? Maybe you are that type of person. We all want attention, but I’m talking about the ones who have carried that pursuit to an extreme.

Everyone is a potential prop in their dramatization. They play off of us to any onlookers they can attract, all with the goal, conscious or not, of enhancing themselves and “wowing” their audience.

I worked with a man many years ago who was a master of this technique. I was periodically his target when he’d blindside me, grabbing me around the waist while his buddies looked on. The worst incident was when he forced me backwards, held me in a dance dip position, and started nibbling my neck “all in fun,” as he laughed and performed for the ogling office staff, which was mesmerized by his charismatic personality. Yes, he was the performer in the limelight, and I was his non-consenting prop.

Today, that type of behavior could be classified as sexual harassment. Back then, although embarrassed, I just laughed it off as, Oh, that’s just Jack being Jack. Jack-being-Jack made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t have the words, tools, or support to do anything about it. Jack was not the only one who tried such antics on me at the office, he was just the worst.

The governor of New York has recently resigned due to a pattern of sexual harassment behavior toward woman on his staff. Harvey Weinstein, not so long ago at the pinnacle of a major film production company, is now serving a prison sentence for similar behavior. It’s amazing how the empowerment of classes of people can now bring down those who view themselves as entitled to act with impunity toward them.

Yes, Mr. Governor, times have changed. However, the line that you and others like you have crossed has not been moved as you assert; it has just been outed. Such behavior has always been unacceptable, but today, perpetrators are identified, confronted, and ejected from their lofty positions.

Let me be clear: intimidating behavior can be carried out by women, too; it’s not gender based. It may also include acts other than sexual harassment, which can occur in any setting, not just a work environment. Any type of threat or duress to gain compliance from the victim for the benefit of the offender is part of this pattern. The commonality is that it occurs by the more powerful toward the less powerful for the purpose of advantage to the former.

If you are a victim of uncomfortable, embarrassing, humiliating, intimidating, or criminal behavior by someone with significant dominion over you, how might you respond? There are several avenues available to you:

1. You can shrug it off.
2. You can stew in private.
3. You can walk away from the situation (for the moment or permanently).
4. You can confront your harasser (caveat: have a witness present).
5. You can publicize the situation either within your institution or to the public in general (ex: company newsletters or internet social media).
6. You can file official or legal actions.

Fortunately, today there are many more support groups backing you up. However, you do take the risk of that veiled threat being carried out such as loss of employment, damaged reputation, and the like.

Many of the powerful have fallen in recent years after their behavior has been exposed. It’s not necessary to continue succumbing to harassment aimed at you. You can have a voice.

Photo credit: nffcnnr on Visualhunt.com

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY:  LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Unspoken Norms

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Synopses of her books follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: On August 2, 2021, I was interviewed on LA Talk Radio “The Polished Woman.” To listen to the podcast, click here: https://www.latalkradio.com/content/polished-080221, hit play, and slide the button on the progress bar to 13:29 minutes.

Now, on to my blog:

They are not uttered in public; they’re not written down; no one will admit to them. They are the unspoken rules of society passed down from parent to child. They don’t even have to be verbalized to little Justine or Janine. Just a look, a nod, a smile, or a frown from a parent, teacher, or other role model conveys all that is needed.

These silent instructions on how to behave and with whom to associate permeate race, religion, ethnicity, and socio/economic levels: “Stay away from ‘them,’ ” or “Hang around with your own kind.” Lessons such as these form today’s caste system wrapped up in a new bow but just as crippling. They restrict those of different groups from intermingling “too much.” They govern who little J or J grows up to associate with, marry, and even what they study in school, where they work, and in what neighborhood they live.

Yes, times they are a changin’ but by inches rather than miles. Prejudice abounds and influences. Whole genres of people are excluded from progressing just because they don’t fit in, don’t belong. When we as a collective perpetuate such conduct, we miss out on potential betterment.

Gustavo Dudamel, the world renowned symphony conductor, was born into a poor, Venezuelan family. He was mentored as a child through “El Sistema,” a program in his home country to train disadvantaged but gifted children in classical music. By 2009, he rose to become the conductor of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Symphony, and he continues to serve in that capacity as its music and artistic director.

Why do the offspring of rich, prominent people receive so many more advantages with such little effort compared to a Dudamel? Top universities offer legacy admissions to children of renowned alumni. Often, donations or prestige to said schools are part of the mix. Are these entitled kids so talented that they contribute significantly to the benefit of the greater good? Well, some may be, but many are not, bagging those coveted spots despite their own mediocre showing while waving around Mommy or Daddy’s creds.

Ponder the future benefits to our country that could be wasted by awarding the best college opportunities and job positions based on parentage or social position. Consider the genius we might be overlooking as so many jockey to keep particular groups down. Look at the potential skills and contributions that might fall by the wayside due to classifying hundreds of thousands of immigrants as illegal and therefore not allowed in. There could be a future Albert Einstein languishing in those detention cages.

Is mankind destined to continue shooting itself in its proverbial foot generation after generation? Will we remain small-minded forever? Where are our visionary leaders to put a stop to such backward thinking and lead us to greater advancement, prosperity, and happiness?

Photo by Manuel Nägeli on Unsplash

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY:  LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.