Hope You Had a Happy/Merry Whatever

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives. Her public lecture and recently published book on senior reinvention are titled: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire.” Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Both books are available at Amazon.com. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: My new book is now available on Amazon.com. The title is the same as this blog and my public lecture: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Not a one-size-fits-all approach, the book offers an individualized, detailed guide to help readers discover activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives, “retirement,” based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog.

Now, on to my blog:

This is the holiday season. It coincides with the winter months which can be a dreary and depressing time for many. Centuries ago, humans, those smart little buggers, figured out a way to brighten up this part of the year for themselves. What better way to raise spirits than a party? So, we created all the fun stuff that goes with such an occasion: invitations, decorations, songs, dances, particular symbols, special clothing, distinctive foods…

Of course, we must not forget gifts. We cogitate about them, agonize about them, shop for them, wrap them, and mutually exchange them, hoping that we got it right this year and the recipient won’t once more thank us profusely and sequester said item in the back of a drawer, never to be seen again.

Somewhere along the way, tribal instincts entered the picture. They included their own interpretation of how the celebrants should think and behave. Ritualism evolved. Boiled down to their respective essence, however, each is about the same, just with different window dressing. Nevertheless, individual actors or groups are positive that their particular spin is the right way, the only way.

Well, you know what happens in such situations: they devolve into “my way or the highway.” Bad behaviors arise like anger, rivalry, ostracism, violence, and wars simply because someone or a collection of someones has to prove that my variation on a theme is better than your variation on a theme.

We see this on personal levels, global levels, and everything in between. One’s ideas, beliefs, views, goals, lifestyle, blah, blah, blah are viewed as good, and anyone who opposes them is considered bad. Why do we as the highest level creatures on earth have to devolve into such grubby little characters? What’s the big deal, anyhow?

Rodney King, an average guy who most people never heard of, gained instant fame in 1991 after he was beaten by police officers following a high speed chase in connection with his arrest for drunk driving. The whole thing was caught on video, making him a celebrity. Subsequently, he questioned publicly why people can’t get along.

I ponder like Rodney. Why must everything be a competition? Why must it all turn into a cat fight? Why do we end up killing each other, literally and figuratively? Are we fated to that end; is it in our DNA; is there no other way we can behave?

I don’t have answers, only questions. One final one: Don’t you all just get tired of it already?

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Photo credit: shixart1985 on Visualhunt.com / CC BY

Life Has No Reverse Gear

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives. Her public lecture and recently published book on senior reinvention are titled: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire.” Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Both books are available at Amazon.com. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: My new book is now available on Amazon.com. The title is the same as this blog and my public lecture: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Not a one-size-fits-all approach, the book offers an individualized, detailed guide to help readers discover activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives, “retirement,” based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. BTW it would make a great holiday gift!

The 11th century Persian philosopher, mathematician, astronomer, and poet Omar Khayyam wrote a haunting and fateful observation. You may have encountered it sometime during your education, but it bears repeating:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

Yes, mankind figured out even a thousand years ago that the cog of life moves in only one direction: forward. That bit of wisdom is as true today as in Omar’s time. Once you have acted, you can’t un-act. No matter how much you rail, beat your chest, pray, or promise, an act or failure to act at any given instant cannot be undone.

How often have we wanted to step back just a moment, five minutes, an hour, a day… to reverse our chosen direction? It’s happened to all of us. You can’t get through life without occasional stumbles.

It happened to me recently pertaining to the publishing of my new book. Only after it was published did I learn that I could have gotten a Library of Congress Control Number. Their hard-and-fast rule, however, is that it must be obtained before the book is published. I had never even heard of such a number and the benefits it might bring.

I beat myself up over that, conjuring up all sorts of machinations to step back in time. None worked, and each made the situation more convoluted. After several sleep interrupted nights over my bad luck, I finally accepted that I would have to live with the consequences. Not long after, I learned about an unrelated opportunity that was soon to expire. I was able to take advantage of it just under the wire. In life, you can’t win ’em all.

The wins, of course, are exciting–the losses, not so much. So how do we survive the latter? First we must forgive ourselves for saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or other failings. Next, we must be grateful that we do sometimes end up on the right side of time’s arrow. Finally, we must put it all to bed and move on.

 I remember decades ago when my then husband took a course for several months to qualify for a one chance, specialty certificate in his profession with a deadline for completion. He attended classes at night after work for the prescribed months. When he had proof of passing the requirements, I watched as he filled out his application and placed it along with all the proper documentation into an addressed and stamped envelope. After a few weeks, he couldn’t understand why he had not received the coveted certificate.

One evening as we were driving to visit friends, I was sitting on the passenger side and noticed the edge of an envelope sticking out from between the seats. I pulled it out and realized that it was his application. Needless to say, that revelation bummed him out completely and ruined not only our evening but his mood for the next many days.

It’s okay to be upset over situations like this for a short while, but we must get beyond it. I’ve written on this topic before. (See my blog of November 25, 2018: “Waiting for Upcycle Days“, and my blog of November 20, 2016: “You Win Some, You Lose Some.”) The only consolation is knowing that these types of things happen to everyone.

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Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Photo on Visualhunt.com