I Can Give You Five Minutes

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

I used to have a casual friend who I usually encountered in a group situation. Occasionally, we spoke on the phone, most often to discuss an upcoming get-together of our mutual friends. I remember when I would call her, she was often “so busy.” Her frequent reply to my opening “Hi, how are you?” was, “Oh, hi. I can give you five minutes.”

How benevolent of her to grant me five minutes of her valuable time. However, what I got out of her generosity was that I no longer cared to call her. She was condescending, and obviously, I was rarely high enough on her list of priorities to warrant more than five minutes allotted to me.

I had a different friend who is, also, now a former friend. She started associating with another crowd, and I hadn’t talked to her for a while. One day, I was thinking about her, so I called her just to chat. After my opening “Hi, how are you?” her response after the obligatory “fine” was, “What did you call about?” What I called about was not a specific matter but just for some connection. She made me feel foolish with her confrontational question, as though it were a business matter and how she could be most efficient in hurrying it along. I think you can pretty much guess our future relationship. Neither of us called the other again.

I’m not interested in friends like that. Let the first aforementioned person give her valuable five minutes to someone else. Let the second not have my friendship. I, on the other hand, will spend my time and energy with those who appreciate me and vice versa.

Do you have such a situation in your life; maybe the same words are not used, but it’s the same idea? You know that guy/gal who always leaves you feeling a little wonky after finishing your contact with them? Something is not quite right, but you can’t figure out what it is. If so, spend a little time analyzing why that person is so off-putting. If, on the other hand, you are the off-putter, be aware of why your friends keep melting away.

There’s no need for anyone to continue batting their head against the proverbial wall. Simply walk away from involvement with people who make you feel unworthy. I know that’s not always easy. It might be someone close such as a family member or one who is part of a larger group of friends. Nevertheless, there’s no need for you to feel demeaned each time you have an interaction with them. Find others who make you feel good about yourself and are able and willing to give you more than just five minutes.

Photo credit: SchuminWeb on Visualhunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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