Remembering Those Who Are Gone

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book synopses follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: I recently performed in an original play, “Voices from the Silenced,” which dramatizes stories of women who had illegal abortions prior to 1973 when the Supreme Court decision in Roe vs. Wade legalized the procedure. A documentary has been made about the production of that play, and it can be seen by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/824401504?share=copy  NOTE: the password is: voices

Now, on to my blog:

Shared meals are uplifting and bonding for humans. They offer more than just food for the stomach; they also provide nourishment for the soul.

As a child, my extended family had large, multi-generational gatherings, especially around special events or holidays. I played with my cousins before we all sat down to a wonderful lunch or dinner. Those happenings were full of warmth and joy. We children felt cared for, safe, and loved.

Today, so many of the attendees at those special occasions are no longer alive. What I once took for granted–I thought it would always be so–is just a memory now. Parents, aunts and uncles, and some cousins live on only in my thoughts, photographs, and discussions with those still here.

How did that happen? Why wasn’t I paying closer attention? Why didn’t I learn more from the last generation when I had the chance? Maybe some of that time fooling around with my cousins could have been devoted to picking the brains of my elders. Today, there are so many unanswered questions I have about my family history. Those who once could have explained them are no longer available to do so.

My son is now very interested in learning about his ancestors. He questions me, and we look at family pictures and memorabilia together. I do my best, but often I don’t have a response to many of his inquiries. I am fortunate to have a personal autobiography written by my mother. She worked on it diligently when she was in her final years and gave it to my sister and me just months before she died. My son has devoured it. I have made copies for cousins who love to read about their own parents in my mother’s account.

My memoir about attending a senior acting class and performing onstage with my father when he was 85 and I was 60 was originally started just for my family. When it was completed, I chose to publish it for public consumption under the title: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. My son cherishes that book, too. He was so excited when I was composing it, that he wrote the foreword.

I am now a member of the oldest living generation in my family. My children are grown and have children of their own–my grandchildren. The young ones soon run off to play when I try to discuss their great-grandparents and all the rest whom they hardly knew or didn’t know at all. It’s more interesting to amuse themselves with the newest toy or pet than to hear about a bunch of deceased relatives.

“Children will be children,” as the saying goes. They don’t realize that things end. But, one day they may wonder about their family history. So, leave the information for them however you can. You might write a memoir or autobiography just for the family or pay a professional ghostwriter to do it for you. Maybe someone can interview you while recording it on an electronic device as one cousin did with my great uncle. Although he had resided in the United States for decades, he started his recollection from when he was a child living in a village in Russia. Now, how incredible is that!

Find some way to save the story of your family for future generations. Without a doubt, they will come seeking it once they tire of their toys and pets.

Photo credit: DVIDSHUB on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Braids, Inkwells, and Romance–Oh My!

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book synopses follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: I recently performed in an original play, “Voices from the Silenced,” which dramatizes stories of women who had illegal abortions prior to 1973 when the Supreme Court decision in Roe vs. Wade legalized the procedure. A documentary has been made about the production of that play, and it can be seen by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/824401504?share=copy  NOTE: the password is: voices

Now, on to my blog:

Today’s blog is my take on a subject suggested by one of my readers: braids and inkwells.

How do we connect with others, especially potential intimate partners? When we are attracted to somebody, how do we let them know?

There is the old cliché of the boy sitting behind the girl in elementary school and dipping the ends of her braids into the inkwell on his desk.  Yes, that’s how a young male might have shown his affection for a young female a century ago. At least it’s a step-up from caveman days of yore where whacking your potential main squeeze over the head with a club was supposedly the preferred method.

Inkwells were common place in the early 1900s but fell out of favor by the 1940s. Vessels to hold liquid ink for writing, they were originally used with dip pens to coat the tip with the ink. In the early 19th century, dip pens had replaced quill or reed pens, but they in turn were replaced by fountain pens in the late 19th century. Here’s a quick primer on how a fountain pen functions: the writing tip called the nib is dipped into an inkwell or ink bottle. Then, a small lever on the pen’s side is pulled out on one end to force the other end to push against an internal reservoir. As the lever is slowly released, the reservoir sucks up the ink which is then guided onto paper by the nib in the act of writing.

As a young girl, I had two braids which trailed down my back. I remember sitting in class at a desk with a hole in it for an inkwell. However, by that time, liquid ink was no longer used in schools. Nevertheless, the old desks still had plenty of service left in them, so they remained.

The messy fountain pen became redundant by the 1950s with the switch to the ballpoint pen, a writing instrument that uses gravity to enable ink from a cartridge to flow onto a ball bearing on the pen’s tip. Today, we have almost given up the ballpoint pen, too. Writing nowadays seems to be an irritant and time suck when we can just type on a computer or its ilk–or better yet, dictate our words and watch them automatically transcribed onto a screen. Then, just push a button to instantly send your missive to another–so much faster, cleaner, and cheaper than writing it with a leak-prone implement, placing it into an envelope, licking it shut, applying a stamp, and depositing it into a mailbox with a several-day delay until arriving at the location of the intended recipient.

But, I digress–back to gaining the notice of a potential love interest. As we mature, our methods become more subtle than braid dipping. Nevertheless, they have the same underlying motive: How do I get your attention? How do I convey that I’m interested in you as a potential mate? How do I make you like me? These considerations continue up into seniorhood.

It’s intimidating to expose your feelings because possible rejection is always lurking. However, if we sublimate those emotions and never reveal them to our intended target, we are destined to remain alone. The lesson here is that, like most things in life which might yield a high reward, you must take a chance. You may not succeed, but at least you tried. In that case, simply move on to the next pair of braids when you stumble upon an inkwell.

Photo credit: Scott 97006 on VisualHunt

***

BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.