Covid and Me

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Well, I’d managed to dodge the Covid bullet throughout the 3.5 years since the lockdown which started March, 2020–until now. Yep, I woke up last week thinking I was just very tired. It never dawned on me that I might have Covid. I tried to shake it off and go about my daily business. However, a weakness settled over me, and all I seemed to crave were jumping into bed and sleeping.

I finally took a Covid test and then took a second one because I didn’t believe the first one. How could I have Covid? I am invulnerable.  But there it was, those two little lines staring at me. How, when, and where did I contract this dreaded disease of the decade?

I had returned only a few days earlier from a long road trip. Maybe it was somewhere along the way that I encountered someone or several someone’s breathing in my direction and letting loose a volley of Covid molecules which eventually settled inside of me. Perhaps it occurred after my return home, somewhere in my own ‘hood, where someone did the same. Of course, it’s impossible to know. And even if I were able to figure it out, what difference would it make? Here I am laid low with this inconvenient, albeit temporary–I hope–condition.

All of my plans and regular daily activities have been put on hold. Everything stops when you have Covid. Now, I’m back to the lockdown routine we all became so familiar with a few years ago. I am isolating at home lest I infect someone else; I am isolating at home so I can get better; I am isolating at home…

The difference between now and then are the miracle drugs humanity has discovered. I’ve been vaccinated, boosted, boosted, boosted, and boosted. I recently finished a five-day course of Paxlovid, that wonder medication to help my body fight back. Yes, I am willing to endure its side effects such as an odd taste in my mouth. That is mild compared to the destruction Covid is able to wrought. And, yes, I am back to wearing a mask if I do find myself near another human.

Today’s version is not the Covid of old that we so feared. I’ve never once thought that I would have to be hospitalized, put on a ventilator, and could die. No, the new Covid is more like a mild to moderate case of the flu. Nevertheless, it has clipped my wings. I don’t like it one bit, and I am disheartened when I see that second line show up on my Covid test each day. Yes, it’s taking longer and longer to appear, but there it is, edging in just under the 15 minute time limit–drat.

I’m ready for this to be over! I’m ready to move along with my life. I have places to go, people to see, and things to do. Covid is a roadblock that cramps my style. I feel guilty, complaining when millions have died.  Nevertheless, it feels good to rant. I hate it when my lifestyle is interrupted, especially by something as tiny as a virus. Begone, I say! Get the hell away from me, I say! I’m done with you, Covid!

Take care all. May you have a Covid free rest of your summer. But be prepared, as it could happen to anyone.

Photo credit: Anthony Quintano on Visualhunt

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Forgiving Yourself

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

In my last post, I briefly mentioned forgiving yourself. Several readers contacted me suggesting a deeper discussion. So, I am devoting an entire blog to the subject.

The act of forgiveness is usually thought of as involving two sides. It might be individuals, groups, or even large institutions. “A” does something offensive to “B,” and “B” forgives “A.” However, that scenario can also be played out within ourselves.

It’s been said that we are our own worst critics. We get down on ourselves easily when we don’t meet our personal, self-imposed expectations. Such self-castigation can play on an endless loop and morph into low self-esteem and eventually depression.

Often, we carry those negative seeds from childhood. Someone or many someones in our past may have overtly or covertly conveyed to us that we are lacking and will never amount to much. These could have been parents, teachers, peers, or anyone else in our sphere. So, we spend the next decades of our lives proving them wrong by striving to excel in whatever our chosen pursuits may be. Unfortunately, in a bizarre twist, many just step into the shoes of their former tormentors and change the script into self-reprimand.

Some religions address the problem with formulaic, ritualistic acts of confession and contrition in which forgiveness is the endgame such as the Catholic Church’s confessional. Some governments have ceremonial forgiveness events such as the Truth and Reconciliation Commission held by South Africa in 1996 after the end of apartheid.

What do we do if those options are not available to us for whatever reasons? How do we give ourselves permission to err as all human beings do? How do we forgive ourselves? It’s a tough question, and it’s so hard to do for so many. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and then judge ourselves as failures when we do not meet them.

Letting yourself become weighed down in self-loathing is completely unproductive. It may manifest in such behaviors as anger, withdrawal, isolation, and the like. If you have significant others in your life, your moods splash onto them which only serves to draw spouses/partners, children, parents, and friends into your misery. Is that really what you want?

When you make a mistake, how about trying to cut yourself a little slack, just as you do with others? Don’t you deserve such treatment like everyone else? Start by being a friend to yourself rather than an enemy combatant.  When you make a mistake, notice it, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on. The goal is to keep pressing forward. I’ve spoken frequently in this forum about being kind to others. You must also remember to be kind to yourself.

Photo credit: daryl_mitchell on VisualHunt

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Hidden Part of the Iceberg

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Visit her website at: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

It’s easy to be critical of others. We tend to judge them by their exterior packaging, and we do it in the first few minutes of meeting them.

Ninety percent of icebergs are hidden below the waterline; we only see the top ten percent which is exposed. The same is probably true of humans. It requires getting to know them to learn what is hiding in their submerged part.

A few years ago, I was somewhat offended by another member in a class I was attending. I felt uncomfortable whenever she came over to talk to me, because she stood too close, invading the social distance expected in our society. I began to avoid her to the point of being a bit rude if she would approach.

Some months later, I found myself working on a special project which included this classmate. It was only then that I found out she has a significant hearing problem. She stood close to everyone to be able to understand them better. I felt ashamed of myself for my prior behavior. To make amends, I went out of my way to be nice to her and helped explain things when she couldn’t hear them. You should have seen her blossom. She was so grateful for my attention. My guess is that she is often rebuffed by others. I’m sure she has no idea why.

Another incident occurred in a different setting where someone mentioned a new neighbor. In my effort to figure out who she was, I made a dismissive remark about her hair, trying to clarify in my mind who we were talking about. The person to whom I was speaking commented, “You know, she has multiple sclerosis?” Again, I was ashamed of myself. That handicapped woman probably has enough trouble just dressing herself let alone fixing her hair in a style that might suit the likes of me.

I really get down on myself when I behave in a cruel manner toward others. I don’t want to be like that. Usually, I do it without thinking and certainly without the goal of inflicting hurt. I guess the word for such action is “thoughtless.” Yes, thoughtlessness can be painful to others, and most of us have been at the receiving end of it, too.

It’s important to realize that everyone has shortcomings including ourselves. Strive to be a better person; forgive yourself for occasional stumbles; and keep on trying.

Image by Andrea Spallanzani from Pixabay 

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Mini-Diminutions

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

A diminution is the act of becoming gradually less in such things as size or importance. It is the noun form of the verb: to diminish. Have you ever experienced a mini-diminution as a result of someone else’s act or statement? Perhaps you have been the archer behind such an arrow.

Mini-diminution is a term I’ve coined which might be viewed as a cousin to micro-aggression. However, the latter usually has a stigmatized or culturally marginalized group as its target. Nevertheless, both are subtle techniques to dismiss or bring down others, whether overt or covert. People engage in such acts to burst the balloon of, rain on the parade of, or any other way you can describe the effect of such behavior on its victim. This tactic has an endgame of hurting another’s feelings. It could be set in motion by some perceived insult, jealousy, or a myriad of other negative feelings toward the target or even toward a much larger group with the current scapegoat chosen at random.

Recently, I was at a friend’s dinner party, and people were just chatting at the table before the food was served. When I was speaking to the group, another member quickly turned to the person next to him and begin a private, side conversation. That action in a gathering so small made my conversation difficult due to the increased noise-level and distraction. I passed it off, not thinking much about it, although I was a bit irritated. However, when it happened a second time, I pondered whether it was deliberate in order to discount my importance.

Another example happened to me several years ago. I have some antiques in my house as I am partial to them. I invited several family members over to see my new home. During the course of the afternoon, a cousin commented to me loud enough for others to hear, “You know, I’ve never really cared for antiques.” Interesting, as I don’t recall asking her for an opinion on the matter. Yup, another mini-diminution had just landed on me.

Such comments are so subtle that it’s hard to even realize it’s happening never mind confronting the hurler. If you should manage to collect your composure in a timely manner and question the speaker about his/her motivation, you might get a response such as: I didn’t mean anything by it; What are you talking about? or some other such denial.

Why do people perfect the art of the put down? I’ve written on this subject previously in this forum. (Click here and scroll down to read my blog of July 11, 2018, “The Passive-Aggressive Jab.” Click here and scroll down to read my blog of April 1, 2019, “Put-Down Humor.”) Although I wrote those blog posts several years ago, the behavior is alive and well today. People think that by diminishing another, they will raise themselves up–fuzzy math to my mind. If you feel low and don’t think much of yourself, putting somebody else down is not going to do it.

The sadder one here is the slinger more than the slingee. Slingers, rather than enjoying their own lives, spend a great deal of their time nursing angry feelings. Someone has always “done them wrong,” and they fixate on honing payback methods. My only message to such folks is to knock it off and spend your energy on enhancing your own life. The other is just too tiresome for all involved.

Photo credit: Steve Slater (used to be Wildlife Encounters) on Visualhunt.com

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Do We Betray the Dead by Choosing to Live?

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

I have a friend who was widowed some years ago. She and her husband had been married for several decades when he died. She felt intense grief after his passing and was depressed for a long time. She couldn’t escape the emptiness in their home with signs of him everywhere: the furniture they bought together; his aftershave lotion on the counter next to the bathroom sink; his slippers in the closet. She could barely function for well over a year.

We are all felled by a close death whether it be a spouse, parent, child, friend, other significant person, or even a pet. Grieving is a necessary first step in the healing process.

My aforementioned friend eventually started to venture out–slowly at first. When she found herself forgetting about her husband briefly while enjoying herself in the company of others, she felt guilty. So, she isolated again for many months.

Victorian era custom had widows dressing in all black “widow’s weeds” for long periods of time, even the rest of their lives, after the demise of their husbands. It was probably due to the influence of Queen Victoria who did so for the forty years she lived after the passing of her husband, Prince Albert, in 1861.

Is that custom life affirming or pathological? Is it a betrayal of a deceased spouse or significant other to want to go on with your life? What about dating? Is it okay to want to partner up again?

There are no rules here, even though some individuals or institutions attempt to impose them. That is only a power grab on their part over vulnerable people gripped by anguish. After the sorrow dissipates, a normal occurrence which may take months or years, humans eventually get tired of self-imposed isolation. It is natural, healthy and imperative to reach out to others; to begin to spread your wings; to craft a positive, joyous life for yourself.

If you are in such a situation, you must consider an important question: Do you want to live? You are not a bad person to choose life no matter which route you take: socializing, dating, remarrying, seeking a job or returning to a career, exploring new pursuits… You can still do so in conjunction with remembering and missing your departed one. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Photo credit: Matt From London on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Losing Your Independence

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

NOTES: Sometimes my readers ask me to write about a particular subject. This blog stems from such a request.

Now, on to my blog:

As we age, things that used to be easy to do become more difficult. Our bodies don’t function as well; our brains don’t remember like they used to; our abilities diminish in general. We gradually begin to find some tasks harder and harder. That may reach a crisis point where we have to give up certain activities and pursuits.

One of the most difficult losses is the operation of an automobile. Cars offer their drivers incredible independence. People can come and go as they please. However, when you no longer have the quick reflexes and reaction time necessary to operate a motor vehicle safely, it is imperative that you stop doing so. Such a driver becomes a serious hazard to themselves and others.

Many seniors are unable to assess or refuse to accept when their give-it-up time comes. That often requires some significant person or entity making the decision: children, doctors, courts, etc. It may not go smoothly, and there is the possibility of hurt feelings all around. Nevertheless, count yourself lucky that you have caring people in your life who are willing to devote the time and energy to insuring your welfare; not everyone has that as they age. If you’re in the latter category, set things in place now while you can so you’ll have the care you need if and when it becomes necessary rather than burying your head in the proverbial sand with an it’ll-never-happen-to-me attitude.

What about living independently? Sometimes that becomes unsafe as we age and become more infirm. Things in the household can pose a danger such as bathing or operating a stove. Again, seniors often resist the idea of moving into a facility such as an assisted living home, where they might get help with basic chores.

Even walking can be fraught with danger if your body is not cooperative with all that the act of ambulation entails. Seniors tend to fall more frequently than they did when they were younger and more agile. Yet, so many resist assistive devices such as canes or walkers, because it is the mark of being old. Only after they fall and break their hip or other bones are they willing to consider such alternatives. By then, the damage is done.

We’ve all heard that well-known adage credited to 1940s movie actress Bette Davis: “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Yes, it’s a rough road. However, we have no choice but to proceed forward, weathering whatever obstacles come our way in the aging process. Do your best to adapt, and seek out other activities or alternatives that will help you lead a satisfying, quality life, regardless of the fact that it is different from what you’re used to.

You may not be able to drive a car, but you can take a bus or a ride share service such as Uber or Lyft. You may not be able to cook for yourself, but you can order meals delivered or buy pre-prepared meals–senior programs will deliver meals to your door ready to be heated up and eaten. You may no longer be able to run that marathon you did when you were younger, but you can take a walk in your neighborhood or in a wilderness area. (I’ve written on this topic before in this forum. Click here and scroll down to read my blog of April 2, 2018, “A Hitch in Your Gitalong,” and here to read my blog of June 26, 2015, “Battling the Inevitability of Aging.”)

There are many alternatives to aid you in living an active and fulfilling life. Don’t be embarrassed to use them just because they may be the sign of getting old.

Photo credit: @imaxeslugo on Visualhunt

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Senior Orphans

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

An orphan is one whose parents have died. Probably the most famous orphan in literature is “Oliver Twist,” written by Charles Dickens in 1837. We usually think of orphans as children. However, you can become an orphan at any age.

The same feelings of being orphaned occur whether it’s your biological parents who have passed or the parental figures in your life: stepparents, foster parents, mentors, or anyone else in that category.

Even seniors can become orphans. No matter how elderly, frail, or infirm one’s parents become, there’s still that feeling that we have someone to lean on if we need it. The truth, of course, if that they’ve been leaning on us as they have declined. However, we don’t even realize it. My son who is in his fifties and a fully successful and proficient husband, father, and career person, can still dash off that kid’s whine: “Mommmmm” when he wants something, and I’m being resistant.

If you were fortunate enough to have your parents survive into your own senior years, it’s still a shock and trauma when they die. Suddenly, that force that has been such a major player in your life is gone. That feeling of vulnerability, being lost, and not having them to rely on hits you no matter your age, confidence, or degree of sophistication.

When your parents and the other family members in their generation have all died, you suddenly find yourself unwillingly pushed into a new role. You now belong to the oldest living generation in your family. It’s often an uncomfortable place to be with its huge weight of responsibility.

You are looked up to, revered, and counted upon for wisdom, even if you don’t feel so wise all the time. How overwhelming it might seem to hold such a position in life. Nevertheless, don’t forget that you are lucky to have such a role. Not all seniors do.

We seniors must practice good habits so we can stay strong and healthy for the younger generations who rely on us. It’s a tall task, but we’re up to it. Play it with the most competence you can muster. They are depending on you.

Photo credit: jhcrawshaw on Visualhunt

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Importance of Material “Stuff”

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

How important are material objects in our lives? They do, indeed, make the passing days more pleasant by offering assistance, comfort, and status. But, how does this “stuff” hold up against our interpersonal relationships?

We often observe young children bickering over toys to the point of physical violence. They hold their blocks, dolls, and gizmos close so the other kids in the sandbox can’t claim them as their own. We usually assume that they will grow out of such behavior. Sometimes they do, and sometimes…

My family lore contains a story about my great aunt and her sister-in-law by marriage. I’m not sure I’ve ever met either, although I have a vague recollection of the blood relative when I was young.

As the accounting goes, these two women had been close friends for many years. One day, after lunching together, they were strolling down the street and came upon a jewelry store. In the window was a sign offering free jewelry cleaning. Both women sported from their respective husbands of many years a fairly new, impressive, diamond wedding ring which had replaced their old, not so grand ones.

Our heroines decided what a great idea it would be to get their rings cleaned, so they walked in. The jeweler took the two items and put them into the cleaning machine. After the requisite amount of time, he returned the proffered rings all shiny and sparkly.

One of our actors looked at the ring she had been handed and said that it was the wrong ring–hers was the other one. Her soon-to-become opponent said that wasn’t so, and that she had been given her correct ring. A back-and-forth ensued, which turned into a full-fledged argument. The latter refused to exchange the rings, insisting her own property had been returned to her. This escalated into a major rift between the two women, never to be healed for the rest of their lives.

Have you had arguments over your material possessions? Are they so precious to you that you would sacrifice a close personal relationship over them? I guess if you plan to take the items to your grave with you as did the ancient Egyptian pharaohs in order to ensure a comfortable, luxurious stretch in the afterlife, then maybe such a sacrifice might be worth it. If not, perhaps you need to reevaluate what is truly important in your current life.

Photo credit: TVZ Design on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

One Man’s Kitsch is Another Man’s Objet d’Art

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

We each have our own sense of taste when it comes to what is or is not appealing. Ancient philosophers, both from the Greek and Roman eras, discussed and fixated on the nature of aesthetic properties. Leonardo da Vinci sketched “Vitruvian Man” as the ideal proportions for a human body. Nevertheless, beauty remains a matter of intense debate.

Today, we have contests to highlight who or what is the most perfect. There are beauty pageants for humans, dog shows for pooches, museums to house what is judged to be the best of the arts, and on and on.

We common folk also have our tastes. Just look around your neighborhood to see how people decorate their abodes. Most houses might be painted in gentle pastels, but there is that one in a garish, blaring hue. Although some might be outraged by it, the owner thinks it’s stunning.

Many years ago, I visited Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley. The guide told us that Elvis had not used a decorator but had made his own decisions on the furnishing of the mansion. My opinion: It’s amazing how someone with a lot of money and no taste can decorate. Elvis’ opinion: Isn’t it magnificent!

Where I live and in many similar, residential locations around the country, some seem to think it enhances the neighborhood to put out what they see as ornamental objects such as plastic flowers, small windmills, round glass balls, and the like. You can find these “decorations” suspended from trees, lining paths, hung from doors, and all other manner of locations. There are those I find to be a turnoff–kitsch to my eye. Maybe some find the flower pots outside of my front door the same.

It’s hard to come to common agreement on taste. We are each the result of different influences and backgrounds. Yet, we must get along. If someone shows irritation at your choice for public display, maybe you might relocate the object into your own personal residence. That way you can admire it without offending others. If you don’t care for that suggestion, I invite you to enjoy the pink, plastic flamingo I’m thinking of installing in my front yard.

Photo #1 credit: Mark Morgan Trinidad B on Visualhunt
Photo #2 credit: Sam Howzit on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Overscheduling

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Are you addicted to overscheduling, or do you know someone who is? Yes, we all seek out interesting things to do. Sometimes, what we find may be time sensitive, such as plays and exhibits, which may end by a certain date. Other times, we may be invited to an event that is a one-off.

It’s tempting to cram too many things into a single day. An overscheduler’s mindset might go something like this: Let’s see, if I set my dentist appointment in the morning, I can attend that concert in the afternoon and have enough time to make it to my aunt’s 95th birthday celebration dinner where I’ll stay for an hour and still be able to arrive just a little late to that club party I don’t want to miss. This is an extreme example, but it’s not far off from how many people live their lives.

Frenetic overscheduling short changes your focus or enjoyment of individual activities. Rather than steeping yourself in the moment, you are constantly checking your watch to make sure you wrap it up so as to get to the upcoming number on your dance card.

Much of your time is wasted just in travel alone from one appearance to the next. Then, of course, there is the question of your energy level. Those present at your final destination get to interact with the tired, irritable, and impatient version of you.

I had a friend years ago who was the master of overscheduling. She never seemed able to pay much attention to what was going on at the time as she was usually thinking about what was coming next. When I tried to confront her about this, she became defensive and angry. This is how she was used to structuring her life, and she wasn’t planning on changing, even if it meant that she never fully enjoyed anything.

I’ve also had situations where someone has bailed out at the last minute on an invitation to visit me because they were just too tired from their earlier activities that day. Oh yes, they were so sorry and hoped I would understand, but the upshot was that they left me hanging, and my plans were ruined. Never mind the time, energy, and effort I had expended preparing for our get-together: cleaning the house, arranging for food, getting myself ready, a reduced amount of attendees from what I had decided was the right number, and on and on.

When people pull behavior like the aforementioned examples, they establish a reputation for themselves. Then they wonder why friends stop inviting them. 

Don’t be a chronic overscheduler. Follow through with your commitments, and arrive rested and able to engage wholeheartedly with those whom you encounter. Allow plenty of decompression time in your schedule before embarking on the next happening. It will help you enjoy those that you do attend so much more.

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.