Senior Orphans

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

An orphan is one whose parents have died. Probably the most famous orphan in literature is “Oliver Twist,” written by Charles Dickens in 1837. We usually think of orphans as children. However, you can become an orphan at any age.

The same feelings of being orphaned occur whether it’s your biological parents who have passed or the parental figures in your life: stepparents, foster parents, mentors, or anyone else in that category.

Even seniors can become orphans. No matter how elderly, frail, or infirm one’s parents become, there’s still that feeling that we have someone to lean on if we need it. The truth, of course, if that they’ve been leaning on us as they have declined. However, we don’t even realize it. My son who is in his fifties and a fully successful and proficient husband, father, and career person, can still dash off that kid’s whine: “Mommmmm” when he wants something, and I’m being resistant.

If you were fortunate enough to have your parents survive into your own senior years, it’s still a shock and trauma when they die. Suddenly, that force that has been such a major player in your life is gone. That feeling of vulnerability, being lost, and not having them to rely on hits you no matter your age, confidence, or degree of sophistication.

When your parents and the other family members in their generation have all died, you suddenly find yourself unwillingly pushed into a new role. You now belong to the oldest living generation in your family. It’s often an uncomfortable place to be with its huge weight of responsibility.

You are looked up to, revered, and counted upon for wisdom, even if you don’t feel so wise all the time. How overwhelming it might seem to hold such a position in life. Nevertheless, don’t forget that you are lucky to have such a role. Not all seniors do.

We seniors must practice good habits so we can stay strong and healthy for the younger generations who rely on us. It’s a tall task, but we’re up to it. Play it with the most competence you can muster. They are depending on you.

Photo credit: jhcrawshaw on Visualhunt

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Importance of Material “Stuff”

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Book descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

How important are material objects in our lives? They do, indeed, make the passing days more pleasant by offering assistance, comfort, and status. But, how does this “stuff” hold up against our interpersonal relationships?

We often observe young children bickering over toys to the point of physical violence. They hold their blocks, dolls, and gizmos close so the other kids in the sandbox can’t claim them as their own. We usually assume that they will grow out of such behavior. Sometimes they do, and sometimes…

My family lore contains a story about my great aunt and her sister-in-law by marriage. I’m not sure I’ve ever met either, although I have a vague recollection of the blood relative when I was young.

As the accounting goes, these two women had been close friends for many years. One day, after lunching together, they were strolling down the street and came upon a jewelry store. In the window was a sign offering free jewelry cleaning. Both women sported from their respective husbands of many years a fairly new, impressive, diamond wedding ring which had replaced their old, not so grand ones.

Our heroines decided what a great idea it would be to get their rings cleaned, so they walked in. The jeweler took the two items and put them into the cleaning machine. After the requisite amount of time, he returned the proffered rings all shiny and sparkly.

One of our actors looked at the ring she had been handed and said that it was the wrong ring–hers was the other one. Her soon-to-become opponent said that wasn’t so, and that she had been given her correct ring. A back-and-forth ensued, which turned into a full-fledged argument. The latter refused to exchange the rings, insisting her own property had been returned to her. This escalated into a major rift between the two women, never to be healed for the rest of their lives.

Have you had arguments over your material possessions? Are they so precious to you that you would sacrifice a close personal relationship over them? I guess if you plan to take the items to your grave with you as did the ancient Egyptian pharaohs in order to ensure a comfortable, luxurious stretch in the afterlife, then maybe such a sacrifice might be worth it. If not, perhaps you need to reevaluate what is truly important in your current life.

Photo credit: TVZ Design on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.