Full-Time Half-Mast

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

An American flag flies at the entrance to the community where I live. These days, it seems to be perpetually at half-mast. The practice started several centuries ago and referred to such an action on a ship. When done on land, the term is: half-staff. Currently, both terms are used interchangeably. There is also strict protocol on the raising and lowering of a flag to this position.

The half-mast tradition is to show respect, distress, or mourning. Many years ago, I remember it only being used following the death of someone of great importance such as the president of the United States. Nowadays, more and more it is to honor those killed in local mass violence  incidents.

In recent times, such occurrences seem to be a daily happening in our nation. I no longer even ask why the flag is flying at half-mast. Too many people have become angry, disenchanted with the life in this country, and are looking to take out as many people as they can, often committing suicide as an encore to their finale.

I’ve never understood why such an act seems so compelling. What is it about murdering a bunch of humans before doing yourself in rather than just the latter alone that motivates these mass murderers? Perhaps what I should be asking is why such behavior has become so commonplace? Is it the ease in obtaining weapons that makes it quick and effective? Is it the trendy “way to go” which rubs off from one to another? Is it the making of some grand statement before exiting with a flourish? We can’t just chalk it up to mental illness as some propose. There are a lot of mentally ill individuals who do not commit mass murder. Conversely, there are numerous mass murderers who are not mentally ill.

Of course, it’s impossible to know why any one individual stockpiles weapons and ammunition, singles out their Homo sapiens of choice, and goes at it. Sometimes, we can surmise the reason when their prey consists of significant others, or the deed is carried out at a workplace where the assassin had been castigated or dismissed from their job and is looking for payback to targeted victims. However, so often the crime is executed against total strangers. Perhaps they represent something in the perpetrator’s mind as ideal for a symbolic act of revenge.

Whether or not we figure out the motive, the fact remains that the scourge is increasing. Domestic murder has grown to epidemic proportions right along with COVID-19. No longer can children just go out and play in the streets as they did when I was a child. Today, it’s supervised play dates with friends or being accompanied by parents wherever they go.

Grab life while you can, folks. You never know who’s going to go off when you or your loved ones randomly happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Home Therapy

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: I was recently interviewed in Authority Magazine, an online e-zine (a magazine published in an electronic format on the internet), on the topic: “Second Chapters: How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life.” Here is the link to the interview: https://medium.com/authority-magazine/lee-gale-gruen-second-chapters-how-i-reinvented-myself-in-the-second-chapter-of-my-life-14eba2cf7a07

Now, on to my blog:

I love to hang around hardware stores; I always have. They contain such fascinating items for building and repairing anything you can think of. Engaging with the store clerks helps me learn about the gadgets I’m encountering. When I was a young bride, I’d frequent hardware stores to help in decorating our new home. So often, a clerk, usually an older man, would advise me to have my husband come in so he could explain it to him.

“My husband has ten thumbs,” I’d snap. “I’m the mechanical one, so explain it to me!”

Okay, maybe it was only eight thumbs, but his strengths favored his mind, not his fine motor skills. I remember the day we bought the crib for our soon-to-be-born first child. After choosing from all the beautiful ones on display at the baby store, we were handed a box to take home and assemble. My husband insisted on doing the job; isn’t that what a new father is supposed to do? I could see that he was screwing it up, but whenever I tried to offer advice, he got mad. We had a big argument over that one. When he went to work the next day, I took it all apart and reassembled it correctly.

I often go to Home Depot which is the largest home improvement company in the country open to the general public. Its locations all look the same: a cube of a warehouse filled with most things to fix or upgrade your digs. It also operates in Mexico and Canada.

HD has aisle after aisle with such intriguing signs as: plumbing, electrical, lumber, garden, storage, shelving, hardware, fasteners, doors, bath, kitchen, fencing, mowers, lighting, insulation, tools, and the list goes on. Each intrigues me. It’s better than the proverbial candy store lusted after by kids. I can’t wait to find out what wonders are there. I’ve written before on my adventures at HD. (See my blog of May 27, 2019 titled: “Watson.”)

A friend calls it my therapy. In fact, she renamed the store “Home Therapy.” She’s right, and it’s a lot cheaper than ongoing sessions with a psychotherapist. Don’t tell the Home Therapy management, or they’ll start charging me an entrance fee. So right now, after walking the rows at HT for the past few hours, I’m sitting in my car in the parking lot writing this blog.

Unfortunately, HT, as wonderful as it is, can’t measure up to the hardware stores of my youth. Those independently operated, mom and pop gems didn’t have merchandise in little plastic bags with the manufacturer’s paper label on them, forcing you to buy a dozen screws when you only needed two.

Most of them have gone under, driven out by big chains like HT. However, one that held on for almost 100 years before closing in 2017 was in Santa Monica, California, near where I lived for the first 75 years of my life. It was called: Busy Bee Hardware. When you walked into Busy Bee, shelves seem to go up to the ceiling filled with anything you could think of to aid in construction or repair. Yes, they had some items in the plastic bags with the paper labels, but many of those were dusty, having been there for eons it seems, just like the store personnel.

My favorite section of Busy Bee held their hidden stash. Strange little gadgets were sequestered in the wall of tiny, wooden drawers behind the counter that seemed to go on forever. Anything you could want or imagine was certainly there.

Today, I was searching for a very odd item. I had bought an antique lamp which I love. However, I’m planning to top it with a taller shade. That requires a taller harp (the wire apparatus which forms parentheses around the lightbulb and holds up the shade). The modern harps fit on the lamp, but the little threaded screw sticking up from the top to which I must attach the finial to hold the shade secure has a narrower diameter then the receiving end inside the lamp’s original finial. I had a similar situation with another old lamp, and it had an adapter inside. I’ve since learned that said item has a name: a lamp finial reducer. You simply screw it into the old finial and, presto, the inside threaded portion is narrowed, ready to screw onto its counterpart on a new age harp.

HT does not stock finial reducers. Apparently, they’re not a highly sought after item–go figure. I am sure that if I were able to visit Busy Bee Hardware and explain my problem to a staff member, he/she would go behind the counter, open one of those mysterious drawers, and pull out exactly what I need. Oh Busy Bee, I miss you.

Not everything new and shiny is so wonderful. Sometimes the things we used to take for granted and are now gone were better than their current replacements–at least those requiring finial reducers et al.

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

That Poor Scapegoat Just Can’t Catch a Break

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: I was recently interviewed in Authority Magazine, an online e-zine (a magazine published in an electronic format on the Internet), on the topic: “Second Chapters: How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life.” Here is the link to the interview: https://medium.com/authority-magazine/lee-gale-gruen-second-chapters-how-i-reinvented-myself-in-the-second-chapter-of-my-life-14eba2cf7a07

Now, on to my blog:

When people are aggrieved, they often take to the streets to make their voices heard. I recently attended a public demonstration in my retirement village. The protesters were of all races, hues, genders, and ages, there to support the Asian community which is the current visible face of anger and blame for the anguish caused by the Covid 19 coronavirus currently ravishing mankind. For some irrational reason, just because said virus started in China, vitriol has been hurled against Asians, Chinese or not, even those who were born in the United States. You might just as well say that all humans are responsible because the virus started in the world.

I spent my time walking up and down the line of attendees, taking photographs of the mostly homemade signs many held up. They are re-produced below. I’ve written on the theme of public demonstrations before complete with photos of signs displayed by participants. (See my blog of January 21, 2017, “Speaking Out.”)

Everyone in the crowd was masked, still adhering to Covid 19 protocols, which made it difficult to recognize anyone I knew and vice versa. That didn’t matter; what mattered was body count. I was there in solidarity with a group whose members all shared the same indignation about the recent uptick in abuse toward Asians ranging from racially tinged statements to outright violence. The demonstrators were friendly and very appreciative of each one’s efforts.

Some people feel they must have a target toward which to aim their wrath–the stereotypical scapegoat, a concept that started 500 years ago. If one is not easily available, another will do just as well.

Folks are fearful and angry about the destruction that the Covid 19 virus has caused including death, illness, job loss, isolation, and more. Somehow, a few of the more deranged persuasion figure that harming an Asian will assuage those emotions. I’m not sure how you get from Point A to Point B in that particular scenario, but scapegoating just doesn’t work as the perpetrator intended. The coronavirus wreaking havoc on the world today is simply not interested in whom you choose to damage as it follows its natural course, fueled by the defiant and reckless behavior of too many.

The most recent outrage occurred during a mass shooting on March 16, 2021 at three Atlanta, Georgia spas, killing mostly Asian women. The confessed murderer, who may have religious conflict issues, apparently claimed he was having a bad day and that his motivation for committing the crimes was his sex addiction. I guess he’s positioning himself for the ever popular “the-devil-made-me-do-it” defense.

Any excuse one has for bad behavior does not mitigate their particular pressing problem or bad day. Viruses or any other social or natural problems are not influenced by which target you choose to blame, injure, or kill. Your same demons will be waiting for you after your dastardly deed, whether it be launching bullets or racial slurs.

Again I ponder as others have before me, “Why can’t we all just get along?” It seems humanity is always destined for the negative in that utopian goal.

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

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Buying My Own Red Cabbage

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Eureka, I am free! I’ve had my second Covid 19 vaccine shot, and the requisite time has passed for all those little antibodies boogieing around inside to kick in and protect my corpus. I’m ready to come out of hibernation! I spent the entire lockdown without entering a supermarket. I’ve written on this theme before. (See my blog of 5-27-20: “Missing the Little Things.”). Now, finally, I can do my own shopping–oh joy, oh rapture!

My marketing chores had been done by erstwhile professional shoppers through the local shopping app, who then delivered them to my door. Thank you, guys. You are among the first responders, keeping the rest of us safe or at least safer. As a result of a breakdown in communication, however, at times I received some strange items having nothing to do with what I had in mind as my choices were fed into a computer.

As part of my last online order, I requested one red cabbage. My groceries arrived, and indeed it contained said item. However, it was the biggest red cabbage I have ever seen, weighing in at four pounds. I could have drilled a few holes and launched it as a lightweight bowling ball. I normally use red cabbage only as one of many ingredients in a green salad, so a small one lasts me a long time. Now that I had received a lifetime supply, I took to google for recipes. Subsequently, I have used my multi-pounder for items such as colorful coleslaw and braised sweet and sour cabbage. Nevertheless, I still have 1.63 pounds left–sigh.

Yes, I have been hungering, thirsting, and pining to do my own food shopping. What I used to consider just a necessary chore became a wished for dream. Now, I am able to make my own decisions about how and what I eat. I cruise the aisles choosing my old favorites that had been unavailable to me with a middleman involved. I evaluate, weigh, and judge each item, using my brain and personal likes and dislikes. No longer am I a child to someone else’s parenting. Of course, my red cabbage scenario extrapolates to all the other areas of my life.

When we relinquish our personal power and control to someone or something else, we become dependent. It is then difficult to make our own decisions. So, I’ve taken mine back. I’m still sharp and don’t need caretakers. What about you? Once you’ve had your requisite vaccinations, reclaim what you had to give up. Step back into your big boy pants or big girl dress!

Photo credit: Koshyk on VisualHunt / CC BY

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Squeezing in a Hike Between Rainy Days

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Synopses of her books follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: On March 3, 2021, I was a guest blogger on “Happiness between Tails.” In the blog, I discuss my own personal journey to my “second act” as a retiree and senior as well as my thoughts, suggestions, and philosophy about senior reinvention. Here is the link: http://frame.bloglovin.com/?post=7899031243&blog=19125571&frame_type=none

Now, on to my blog:

I pass through the gate separating my retirement community from the wilderness surrounding it–a demarcation line between bustling civilization and an untouched world. I’ve traversed that same divider before, each time feeling like I’m in the 1937 movie “Lost Horizon” where I turn a corner after having slogged through howling snow up treacherous mountain peaks, and Shangri-La opens up before me. I’ve written on this topic before–same location, different wonders. (See my blog of March 31, 2020, “Out and About in the Time of Covid 19”: https://leegalegruen.wordpress.com/2020/03/) What discoveries await me this time?

Here’s the first one: a pile of medium-sized boulders resting in the hollow of an otherwise smooth, grass-covered mini-valley. It is alone, this pile. How did it get here? What sliding glaciers or tumultuous waters deposited those hefty rocks in just this spot to rest for eons as their driving H2O slowly receded? When was that very instant when the raging forces began to dissipate, no longer having the power to move the boulders along? Now they sit, waiting for global warming to raise the ocean levels anew and trickle back to this area to continue the task of herding their charges along a mysterious path.

I scramble on, searching for the next find. There it is beneath my feet. My pathway is flanked by moss, brought out by the last rains. It forms a luxurious, green carpet against the brown dirt trail.

I come upon some scat which reminds me that this is not my private domain. A wild creature has been here recently. I am the invader, encroaching upon its territory.

I spot majestic trees at the top of the hill, the evergreens sporting their full-time leaves and the deciduous awaiting their spring foliage. They beckon me to dig deep for a reserve of strength to keep climbing. I struggle up and summit the crest, searching for my destination.

I see it–a large, isolated boulder. It must have been that same furious ice or liquid that positioned it here so long ago. Although hard to make out in the bright sunlight, it is chiseled on its face with 19th century hieroglyphics—a young man announcing his name and the date, 1855, to the world as young men have done since humans first encountered such convenient writing surfaces.

Time to turn back for home–enough for today. I leave Shangri-La behind, but I know it is there waiting for me to revisit whenever I choose. I’ll await the predicted rains in the coming days bringing their cleansing life force.

I’m left to ponder the very instant when our lives turn. We don’t usually recognize it while it’s happening–only in hindsight. Can we mobilize the fortitude to move forward once again, or must we wait eons?

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Grappling with Opposing Political Views

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

In today’s politically charged climate, what happens if a friend, relative, or anyone else in your immediate and frequent sphere has a different take on politics than you do? Considerations of that sort didn’t seem so important in years past. However, in modern times, they’ve increased by magnitudes. Relationships of all sorts have split due to such differences in political inclinations.

I had an experience in my own life. I am very close to a family member. We were having a talk, and the subject shifted to politics. Well, she certainly had a very different slant than I did. I was surprised as I hadn’t expected it. Soon, the discussion became heated and uncomfortable. Subsequently when we’d see each other, the same thing happened. 

We both valued our relationship and didn’t want to ruin it. Without a spoken plan or official peace treaty, we just deleted politics as a potential topic of discussion when we got together. That worked very well for us.

Usually we choose our friends because we share things in common, politics being only one of a plethora. Nevertheless, we won’t agree on everything with everyone, and we don’t have to. When you feel a connection with someone and find a point of disagreement, avoidance is often the best solution. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The trend these days is to reveal our innermost thoughts and feelings. “Don’t hold it in” is the advice we hear from mental health professionals. Yes, that can be therapeutic. However, sometimes, it may not be the best course of action on certain subjects. Things such as politics, religion, and culture form our core beliefs. Do you really want to spend a significant portion of your valuable time trying to change another to be in lockstep with your particular version of how to live life?

If you are in a close relationship and you want it to thrive because it offers each party so much, you might want to consider avoidance as a way to slide over those areas where you are not in agreement. Avoidance is also a handy tool for less intimate yet still meaningful interactions that you do not want to damage such as employer/employee, teacher/student, coworkers, and the like. You must get along for those relationships to be successful, and avoidance of certain areas of potential conflict might serve you well. Must you really discuss your political leanings in the break room at your job? The chances are that it will only stir up animosity with someone, and you risk damaging productive teamwork.

Make the relationship work for you both, benefit from the things that attracted you to each other in the first place, and disregard the rest. Seek the wheat and let the chaff just drift away.

Photo credit: DonkeyHotey on Visualhunt.com / CC BY

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Your Own Worst Critic

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Why are people so critical of themselves? It starts in childhood when we become aware of the successes and failings of humans. We begin attaching that critical face and finger pointing by our elders to something bad, wrong, and unacceptable about us. We adopt the gesture ourselves, set it in stone, and turn it inward, constantly measuring ourselves compared to others. Somehow, that assessment always seems to be pitted against those who are more adept, not those who are less. The “less” we dismiss as anomalies while we hunger to be among the “more.”

As we mature, it seems that no matter how much we accomplish, there is always someone who bests us. We go on to extrapolate this to every aspect of our lives: how smart we are, how attractive, how rich, popular, accomplished, thin, tall, buff… The list is never ending. We carry this critical self-assessment into our senior years. Life is viciously competitive, and we never quite measure up. As people become adults, they get pretty good at covering up this lack of self-confidence, but it’s always there just under the surface, niggling away. It hobbles many completely.

A good friend recently sent me an email to view a video of a storytelling performance she was part of where each participant reads their own composition. Her opening comment before I even came to the link was how dissatisfied she was with her presentation. I watched the video and found her story and the telling of it to be charming as her work usually is. Yes, there were a few stumbles as she spoke, but they were minor and only added to her humanity.

I’m certainly guilty of self-criticism. No matter how hard I strive or how well I do, I never feel I’ve gotten it right. When I find blunders in my own work, my appearance (those unruly curls are always sticking out of place), or the numerous other aspects I focus on, I blow them up in my mind to giant failures.

The competition is unrelenting. I often feel I’m vying against others who appear to be wiser, more experienced, or have more college degree abbreviations following their names. Yes, I’m easing up on myself as I age, but I forever seem to be a work in progress.

Now, as a senior, that competition is often against the younger population. Is there ever a time interval where we’re allowed to be okay with who we are, where we are? The answer, of course, is yes. However, you must change your mindset. It has nothing to do with your age, sex, or any other descriptor you can attach to yourself. It’s simply a matter of making a decision that now is the moment you are just fine and in just the right time and place of your life.

Our new president, Joe Biden, misspeaks regularly in his talks before huge audiences. It stems from a childhood speech impediment. He is an inspiration to overcoming self-criticism, or if not fully conquering it, then carrying on in spite of it.

It’s time to forgive ourselves for being imperfect, folks, and to embrace our humanity. If we don’t finally get to kill off that little internal critic that we’ve carried with us all these decades into our senior years, when will we ever be able to do so?

Photo credit: Sarah G… on VisualHunt.com / CC BY

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

New Year – New Start

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books synopses follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Today, I welcome a guest blogger, Priscilla Tudor. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 30 years experience in counseling, facilitating groups, and teaching classes and workshops. She was the manager of Counseling Services at Rossmoor, a gaited retirement community of 10,000 active seniors, for 15 years. She can be contacted at: ptudorlcsw@sbcglobal.net. Here is her guest blog:

NEW YEAR – NEW START “IN 2021 I WILL BECOME A HAPPY, FULFILLED PERSON, DESPITE COVID-19.” by: Priscilla Tudor

     Does this seem like an impossible goal? Psychologists used to believe that happiness was primarily a function of our genetic make-up. David Lykken, University of Minnesota researcher, developed the concept of a genetically programmed “happiness set-point”. On a scale of 1-10 with one being very unhappy and 10 being extremely happy, Lykken initially thought that over the life span, people experienced temporary ups and downs, but always returned to their set point. In recent years as a result of further study, Lykken has revised his thinking. In January, 2005 he told Time magazine, “It is clear that we can change our happiness levels widely – up or down.”  The idea that we can increase our happiness is the force behind a new branch of psychology, “Positive Psychology,” created by Dr. Martin Seligman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. Research by Seligman and others has shown that we can become happier by changing our attitudes and beliefs and adopting new behaviors. 

The process starts with making up your mind to become a happier more fulfilled person.   Once you have established your goal, the following steps will help you achieve your objective:  

• Begin by asking yourself, “What can I do today to bring more joy into my life?”  Make a list of 31 concrete things you can do to increase your life satisfaction, and incorporate at least one item on your list into your schedule every day!  Make sure that the list does not consist only of expensive or high calorie treats, or you will get into trouble.  Having enjoyable activities to anticipate will provide incentive and will also in itself increase your life satisfaction.
• Identify your beliefs and attitudes about happiness.  If your beliefs do not support your resolution to be happy, for example, if you believe that our plight in life is to suffer, discard that belief and substitute the belief that you deserve happiness.
• Examine your behavior to determine which behaviors stand in the way of your happiness.  For instance, do you refuse to allow yourself time for play and relaxation. List your self-defeating behaviors and make a plan to change those behaviors.
• Make a list of all the positive consequences you will experience by changing your self-defeating behaviors and refer to the list often.
• Remind yourself that change is a PROCESS. Start slowly and be patient with yourself. 
• Make yourself “POSITIVE AFFIRMATION CARDS” with statements such as: “I am so proud of you.”  “I am succeeding.”  “My behavior is positive and healthy.”  “I am enjoying life more each day.” and refer to them if you feel discouraged.
• Keep a journal of trigger situations.  Make a note of the situations which trigger the old behaviors along with new responses to substitute for the destructive behavior.  For instance, if driving in traffic makes you angry and unhappy, play soothing music or listen to a book on tape while driving to distract yourself. Change, even positive change, is stressful.  Take time to nurture yourself.
• Tell your family and friends that your goal is to become a happier person and enlist them as cheerleaders.
• If you relapse and find yourself in a bad mood or feeling blue, do not beat yourself up.  Realize that all moods and feelings are transitory.  The mood will pass.  Give yourself positive strokes for trying to become a happier person and keep trying.    INCREASED JOY AND LIFE SATISFACTION ARE WELL WORTH THE EFFORT.  YOU CAN DO IT!

Photo credit: wuestenigel on Visualhunt.com / CC BY

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

New Years Day 2021

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books synopses follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Throughout the world, folks have been anxious to leave 2020 in our collective dust. We’ve designated 2021 as a year of hope and change. We’ve been through a miserable time for the past year with bad behavior globally by Homo sapiens and microbial wannabes. (There is debate as to whether viruses are actually alive.) As the scene in the 1937 movie, Lost Horizon, so graphically illustrates, now is the time to round that last snow covered, treacherous mountain peak in the Himalayas and enter Shangri-La.

What did you do on January 1, 2021 to start yourself on this new course? Was it special, memorable, or the same old, same old?

I went for a glorious hike in a nearby, regional park covering over 6000 acres of unspoiled wilderness accompanied by my son who that very day marked a half century of living on this earth. We actually counted down on our watches as the time arrived when we first met fifty years earlier. Since then, on the opening day of each year, I have spoken with him to say “Happy Birthday” no matter where in the world he or I happened to be which at times has fallen on opposite sides of the globe. Yes, each January 1st, I remember very well where I was and what I was doing as I welcomed in a new child and a new year at the same time.

During our hike, we happened upon a corral of horses which is allowed by some government machination to be on this public land. A bit more hiking brought us to a few dozen cows, also given permission to reside there as they add to the health of the ecosystem according to a posted sign.

One cow was quite irate over our invasion of her territory, and she mooed us away in no uncertain terms. We did a 180 and skedaddled, but she followed us and continued harping. We bumped up our pace as her lowing faded into the background. I can’t blame her; I’m not thrilled either when others overstep my boundaries without asking permission.

After about two miles, the sun’s angle and our watches notified us it was time to turn around which was going to require another two mile hike. My energy began to flag, and I had to stop and rest more and more.

“Stay here, Mom. I’ll be right back,” said son as he walked off the trail toward a downed tree.

I could see him searching the debris, and he soon returned carrying a thin branch about six feet long and three inches in diameter. Thrusting one end in my direction and instructing me to grab it, he stepped ahead while holding the other end. Then, leaning into his task, he started to walk.

“Hang on, Mom,” commanded my self-appointed puller as he imparted some of his energy to me while remaining socially distanced in this time of Covid 19.

We proceeded like that at a good pace the rest of the way back as other hikers who passed us in the opposite direction glanced in amusement. I may have detected a little envy, too, but I’m not sure. Sometimes, natural resources and a bit of ingenuity are all that’s needed to solve a problem.

We must continue moving forward in these trying times, even when we don’t feel like it. Don’t give up. Be innovative. Seek out ways to improve your situation. Search away from your usual path, and grab your own tree limb to assist you.

***

SYNOPSES OF LEE GALE GRUEN’S BOOKS:

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Hope You Had a Happy/Merry Whatever

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives. Her public lecture and recently published book on senior reinvention are titled: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire.” Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Both books are available at Amazon.com. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

CHITCHAT: My new book is now available on Amazon.com. The title is the same as this blog and my public lecture: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Not a one-size-fits-all approach, the book offers an individualized, detailed guide to help readers discover activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives, “retirement,” based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog.

Now, on to my blog:

This is the holiday season. It coincides with the winter months which can be a dreary and depressing time for many. Centuries ago, humans, those smart little buggers, figured out a way to brighten up this part of the year for themselves. What better way to raise spirits than a party? So, we created all the fun stuff that goes with such an occasion: invitations, decorations, songs, dances, particular symbols, special clothing, distinctive foods…

Of course, we must not forget gifts. We cogitate about them, agonize about them, shop for them, wrap them, and mutually exchange them, hoping that we got it right this year and the recipient won’t once more thank us profusely and sequester said item in the back of a drawer, never to be seen again.

Somewhere along the way, tribal instincts entered the picture. They included their own interpretation of how the celebrants should think and behave. Ritualism evolved. Boiled down to their respective essence, however, each is about the same, just with different window dressing. Nevertheless, individual actors or groups are positive that their particular spin is the right way, the only way.

Well, you know what happens in such situations: they devolve into “my way or the highway.” Bad behaviors arise like anger, rivalry, ostracism, violence, and wars simply because someone or a collection of someones has to prove that my variation on a theme is better than your variation on a theme.

We see this on personal levels, global levels, and everything in between. One’s ideas, beliefs, views, goals, lifestyle, blah, blah, blah are viewed as good, and anyone who opposes them is considered bad. Why do we as the highest level creatures on earth have to devolve into such grubby little characters? What’s the big deal, anyhow?

Rodney King, an average guy who most people never heard of, gained instant fame in 1991 after he was beaten by police officers following a high speed chase in connection with his arrest for drunk driving. The whole thing was caught on video, making him a celebrity. Subsequently, he questioned publicly why people can’t get along.

I ponder like Rodney. Why must everything be a competition? Why must it all turn into a cat fight? Why do we end up killing each other, literally and figuratively? Are we fated to that end; is it in our DNA; is there no other way we can behave?

I don’t have answers, only questions. One final one: Don’t you all just get tired of it already?

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Photo credit: shixart1985 on Visualhunt.com / CC BY