This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, retirees, and those soon to retire find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after retirement. Her public lecture on this subject is titled: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class, is available by clicking here Amazon.com. Click here for her website: http://AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com
Now, on to my blog:
Recently, I visited my friend, Janet, who is a Chihuahua person (a special breed of people). I spent a lot of time chilling with her two Chihuahua mixes. In this photo, I started holding Pepe (white) when Holly (two-toned) jumped up on the bench. I thought she would just sit next to me as is her style. However, she briefly climbed into my lap, not to be outdone by Pepe.
Pepe, a love–easy-going and friendly to all, is the sweet, cuddly type who adores being held and petted. Holly is a lot more skittish–a high strung presence; it takes patience to become her friend. I had to go through her barking and reluctant acceptance each time I entered the house for the duration I was there. Once Holly gave me the okay, however, she couldn’t get enough of me. Although she didn’t like being held, after a few test sniffs, she tolerated petting. Of course, that required me to bend way down due to her low-slung stature, but I thought of it is good exercise.
Next, I moved on and stayed with my cousin, Gail, where I hung out with her mini-pincher mix, Sarge. Although his appearance matched his name, his personality was the polar opposite. Sarge was loving and licky, frequently jumping onto my lap and hunkering down. So many times when I walked into my bedroom, there was Sarge on my bed, proprietary and anxious to hang out some more.
Why do I love dogs so much? It started in childhood. I begin to notice something special about them that I didn’t notice in human beings. I’ll use dogs as my example, but the same applies to all animals other than humans.
Dogs are loyal, dependable, faithful. With dogs, there is no agenda–what you see is what you get. They are never artificial, duplicitous, political, and will never stab you in the back. Dogs are always happy to see you, no matter how crummy you are, how angry, smelly, miserable, pissy, etc. Dogs love you whether you’re up or you’re down. They never get mad at you, tell you off, ignore you, ostracize you, pay you back, etc. The only human who even comes close is Mommy, and even she fails the dog test.
The moment I get around a dog, I feel comfortable, relaxed. Dogs’ needs are simple. They don’t require the latest designer clothes, the newest luxury automobile, the trendiest (fill in the blank.) They are not into status. Mankind would be well advised to emulate the canines among us.
On the other hand, people are like Pepe, Holly, and Sarge–each has their own personality. Some are warm and seek close contact, while others are nervous and don’t like too much handling. I have great respect for dogs, and I’m always careful never to cause them distress to the best of my ability.
Can we be that way with the wide range of humans we encounter? Can we respect their individual personalities and alter our behavior so as not to cause them distress? Don’t we wish people would treat us that way?
There’s no need to come on like gangbusters when you perceive someone is highly uncomfortable with your usual modus operandi. Respect each individual‘s personality, and interact with them appropriately so as to maintain their comfort level. You will be much more likely to have a successful interaction than if you treat everyone with a cookie-cutter approach.
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I opened an email from my longtime, high school girlfriend, Sheila. Part of it read, “this was surprising in today’s newspaper.” There was an attachment, so I clicked on it to find an obituary with a photograph of a woman I didn’t recognize.
Life is cyclical. It’s like a wave with peaks and valleys. The peaks–the good times–are exciting and exhilarating. But they can never be sustained. Life intervenes to drop us into the valleys–the bad times. It happens to all of us.
Almost forty years ago, a wartime drama film, “Das Boot,” was released to movie theaters. It took place on a German submarine during WWII. Das Boot actually translates from German as: the boat. However, in my case, I am interpreting the literal English meaning: the boot–you know, for a foot.
I arrived some months ago at the San Diego train station ready to board an Amtrak Southern Coaster to travel up the coast of California on my way to my cousin’s house. I had not taken the train in years, and I was pretty excited about the whole thing.
I stated in a raised voice, “I apologize if I offended you, but you are always welcome to change your seat.” She did not respond.
I was sitting on a metro train a few weeks ago next to a woman with a Chihuahua in her lap. She kept stroking it and talking to it. The lady seemed a bit deranged. She had a knitted cap pulled over her hair, no teeth, and her clothing seemed mismatched. Parked in front of her was a baby stroller with a second Chihuahua in it. I’m sure both dogs occupied the stroller together when the woman was out and about on her daily routine.
