Constant Motion

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

I forever seem to be in constant motion, like a spinning top. I’m always doing something. Even when I’m home, I never just sit and look out the window. I’m on my computer; I’m preparing food; I’m cleaning, putting in a load of wash, going through a script for a play I want to audition for, reading material or writing material for an upcoming class, talking on the phone…

Even my vacations are the active type. Lying on the beach under a palm tree reading a book in some tropical location doesn’t cut it. I want to check out the wildlife, forests, museums, or native peoples and their culture. If sports are involved, I want to go skiing, on a zip line, horseback riding (or, in my case, horseback walking—but hey, I’m up; I’m moving forward; and I’m not bleeding). I loved it when I was on a small boat in Mexico touching whales. Any place else with some excitement attached to it is for me!

I’m a Type A personality, and pure, uninterrupted relaxation is a foreign concept. My fellow Type A-ers know what I’m talking about.

I’m trying to do better, because I know it’s beneficial for me to slow down. My slowing down in recent years has come in the form of staying home more often–cutting down on the running around. However, even being at home seems like a marathon as I mentioned above. I barely know what my backyard looks like. Occasionally, during my at home time, I’ll glance out of the window.

Gee, it’s beautiful out there. Okay, enough of that; now, I have a blog to write.

People like me and maybe like you or someone you know have to schedule downtime, because we forget to do it. Left to our own devices, we’re a gerbil running on an exercise wheel in its cage. I’ve written on this subject before. (Click here to read my blog of 4-29-2016: “Slowing Down, and here to read my blog of 8-29-2017, “Rest and Regenerate.”)

Don’t forget to relax, folks—really rest. And, when you do, remind me to do the same.

Top Photo credit: Max_G6 on VisualHunt.com
Bottom Photo credit: Photo credit: benmckune on Visualhunt

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

The Hunt Vs. the Capture

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

There are some people who will pursue another with vigorous means to entice their object of attention. This might include things such as seductive behavior, expensive gifts, abundant attention, and the like. However, once their prey becomes interested (on a scale from a small amount to full-out falling in love with them), the predator’s interest wanes. The latter may then start retreating by acting poorly toward the former: ignoring them, berating them, severing ties with them.

However, the scenario doesn’t end there. When the prey starts to distance his/herself, the predator is suddenly interested and switches to wooing mode once again. It’s a crazy making game that can go on for years. Obviously, the only way for the prey to avoid such a seesaw is to always act hard to get in order to continuously stimulate the predator’s interest and keep them in constant pursuit. What an exhausting way to live!

I once had such a relationship–short term fortunately. I was baffled and couldn’t get a grasp on what was going on. After a few months of this back and forth, I walked away to healthier grounds. When I discussed the matter with a friend, he said that some people get off on the hunt but become bored once they have captured their prey.

Why do predators behave this way? I’ll venture a guess: it has to do with basic insecurity on their part. Oh, they might not act insecure as they’ve spent decades covering up those feelings and presenting a façade of confidence and power to the world and to themselves. Nevertheless, those lack-of-worth seeds still survive within them and distort their behavior.

Once they’ve bagged their prey, the predator’s subconscious feelings of insecurity kick in to the tune of: I’m nothing, so if you care about me, you must be nothing, too. Therefore, I’m no longer interested in you because you are a low-value person. I’ve written on this topic before in this forum. (Click here to read my blog of 1-21-18, “Why Does He/She Treat Me So Badly?”)

Have you experienced such a relationship or relationships in your life as either the predator or the prey? It’s a sad situation to find yourself in and usually leads to one failed relationship after another.

If you are the predator, the first step in changing yourself, if you are so inclined, is to realize what you are doing and why. Then, when you enter the rejecting phase in a relationship, you can view it through your new lens of understanding. This may help you in choosing some behavior modification techniques to preserve your relationship. However, since you’ve spent years honing your hunt versus capture technique, it may require professional help for you to give it up.

If you are or have been prey to such behavior, acknowledge the dynamics in the relationship. Refuse to play the rejected role. Don’t expect your predator to change; it’s you who must change. If you have a history of such relationships, think about what attracts you to such a predator. If it is chronic, you, too, may require professional help to change.

To Predators: Others are not on this planet to help you play out your insecurities. Knock it off!
To Prey: Don’t waste your time and energy being played like a yo-yo. Realize your value and don’t let anyone take it from you.

Photo credit: Huron County Museum & Historic Gaol on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Life Is a Math Problem

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Recently, I came upon an intriguing mathematics problem, author unknown, making its way around the internet: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof? I hope none of my readers is actually trying to answer this question; it’s just nonsensical fun.

In this world of fake news, endemic confusion, and inability or unwillingness to figure out and accept reality, we are suspicious of everything. We can’t even take a joke. The aforementioned math puzzler is a spoof on our times.

Must we doubt everything? Must we question everything? How tiresome it’s all becoming. Even truths we once considered carved in granite are now open for reinterpretation. It feels as if our bedrock is crumbling.

How do we survive such a shaky foundation? I’ve encountered many depressed people lately. They’re overwhelmed by the current state of affairs: politics, the pandemic, wars, inflation, the effects of climate change, their personal lives, and on and on. They don’t know how to cope.

I think the Alcoholics Anonymous creed of One day at a time is about as good as any to navigate our turbulent times. It teaches survival in small, manageable steps. If you adapt the goal of making it just from when you wake up in the morning to when you fall asleep at night, that might help steady you. It’s not a solution to our great global problems, but it could be a balm to your distress caused by them.

Another worthwhile technique is the ancient adage: This, too, shall pass. Look back on your life. Lots of unbearable things finally ended or at least diminished in intensity. Nothing lasts forever.

These approaches don’t work every time; they might work only sometimes. On the other hand, what’s wrong with sometimes? It’s certainly better than the alternative which is constant upset, anxiety, and angst.

Try it. See if you can compartmentalize. Give yourself a mental vacation from the considerations that are pulling you down. Allow yourself to postpone some of that pressing weight until tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or…

Photo credit: wuestenigel on Visualhunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Joy Spots

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

Joy spots are just what they sound like: spots that bring you joy. Are there any joy spots in your life where you experience a bit of happiness when you encounter them such as a particular vista when you turn the corner or a tree that takes your breath away?

In my case, one of my special places features some exotic animals up a hill from a freeway that I travel often. There’s a zebra, a one-humped camel, four llamas, and most recently two magnificent cows and a bull showing off his impressive horns. I don’t know who they belong to or how they got there. I just know that I search for them each time I come upon the right location. When I’m lucky enough to spot them, it perks me up for that moment, for the next many moments, and sometimes even for the whole day. I’ve written about these animals recently in this forum. (Click here and scroll down to read my blog of 4-3-22 “Bucolicity.”)

Many years ago, while living at my prior residence, I used to pass a mature, weeping willow tree. Its setting was perfect: on the front lawn of a beautiful, Spanish style house. I always considered it my treat for the day. I enjoyed it so much that I often took the longer route to get where I was going just so I could revel in that flora. These days, there are some majestic, full-size redwood trees near where I live. They never cease to amaze me whenever I pass them.

Is there a place or several places which you journey by regularly that give you a bump? Maybe it’s a playground with children frolicking as they scream out their exuberance; perhaps it’s the park bench throne where an elderly person holds court to a kingdom of pigeons as he/she tosses them bread crumbs; possibly it’s a pond where folks in small boats skim the surface; it might be a stretch of road frequented by joggers or bicyclists in their colorful gear; or it could be the local house of faith with its catchy, inspirational message of the week mounted on changeable signage on the front lawn.

It’s a privilege to have joy spots as part of your life. Don’t take them for granted. Pay them the respect they deserve when you happen by. Let your eyes feast on what they offer. Let them calm your anxiety and uptightness.

We all need a joy spot or two or ten in our lives. Find some pearls on the routes you navigate on a regular basis, anticipate them, and give yourself a free, anti-anxiety pill without the possible drug side effects.

Photo credit: miheco on VisualHunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Covid Is Tamed, Not Conquered

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

So many people I know are contracting Covid. There are those who have mild cases, while others get pretty sick. A given individual falls ill, yet his/her spouse, children, or various residents in the same household are spared. Science has no idea why. It’s a crapshoot! Who will win and who will lose? Maybe it’s nature’s way of thinning the herd. Are there just too many of us for our planetary resources?

At least we’re no longer hearing about hospitals overflowing, not enough ventilators or protective gear, and bodies stacking up in morgues. Fortunately for mankind, methods such as vaccines, mask wearing, and social distancing are working. Nevertheless, Covid remains a part of our new reality currently and probably well into our futures.

So how do we survive and thrive while sharing our world with Covid? That’s a hard one. Each person has their own methods and their own philosophy. Some crouch in fear inside their abodes, refusing to venture outside. Others take unreasonable chances under the premise that they have only one life to live, and they choose to roll the figurative dice.

My take falls somewhere in between those extremes. I am no longer isolating inside my home. I go out and about but with caution. Whenever I enter a structure such as a market or bank, I always wear a mask. When I want to go to a restaurant, I seek those with outdoor patios. I avoid large public, indoor spaces such as movie theaters. I get together with friends and family in small groups. I decline most invitations to large social gatherings which are held indoors.

As much as I love to travel, I refuse to go to airports, train stations, or on cruise ships. Any travel I do is by car. Whenever I allow an unknown worker or service person into my home, I always wear a mask and insist they do likewise.

This is the lifestyle I have settled upon for myself on this day and at this stage of Covid. I am flexible; my behavior will change as our Covid control measures improve or as a new Covid variant takes hold. Decide on your own comfort level with this endemic virus. It is part of our existence now, and we must learn to live with it.

Photo credit: kittenfc on Visualhunt.com

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

French Toast

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

I love French toast–that is, after I avoid making it by employing every excuse or diversion I can muster. I’m not sure why I do that, but the answer might lie in the effort to bring it to fruition; the tiresome cleanup; the bread with its excess of carbs that proceeds directly from my mouth to my hips without passing Go; and even more calories from the toppings: butter, syrup, and powdered sugar. (Tip: You can switch out the toppings with equally fattening fare.)

Once I have the French toast sitting on a plate in front of me, I slather, pour, and dig in.

Yum, why don’t I eat this more often?

The sentiment doesn’t last long. The next time I contemplate making French toast, the same evasion sets in. I visualize that societal finger wagging.

Many things in life are like French toast. Taking a shower is another for me. It seems like such a waste of time when I could be doing something else much more satisfying or productive. I think up all kinds of reasons to delay it: I need to make a phone call first; I want to research a matter on the internet first; I have to exercise first; I have to eat breakfast first; I have to…I have to… Of course, I could skip a shower altogether, but I run the risk of folks steering clear of me despite my charming personality.

After I finish my personal hygiene routine and cleaning up after myself, a precious hour of my life has elapsed. I could have been writing my next blog, for goodness sake. The strange thing is that once I’m in the shower with the warm water falling on me, I love it. Then, I delay getting out.

Just one more minute…this is my reward for doing my diligence…it’s good for my soul!

Another French toast moment that comes to mind is the onerous preparation of my income taxes. Oh yes, I can procrastinate on that until the last possible minute. Once I get into it and organize everything, however, there’s an immense gratification. I enjoy making my life orderly.

How many F. T. items do you have in your life? It’s always a contest between our requirements and our joys. There are all kinds of proverbs dealing with this issue such as: “Never put off to tomorrow what you can do today,” or “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” (for those of you with my shower affliction).

Life is full of F.T. examples. Nevertheless, we must perform them to make our lives run smoothly. Just slog through what you consider chores, so you can be done with them and get to the good stuff. You just might be surprised that the dreaded and delayed duties often yield a positive payoff.

Image by yasakimo from Pixabay

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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Deliberate Confusion

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

“Oh, I’m so confused.”

That refrain may be legitimate sometimes and manipulative at others. It’s the latter that I’ll address today.

Deliberate confusion is an effective tool used by some to delay, divert, and obfuscate. It’s a method to be able to claim that the reason you screwed up or failed to do what you should have done is because you were confused by the instructions. That effectively throws the blame onto the instruction giver.

“It’s your fault because you didn’t explain it clearly.”

One wonders then why the scenario is almost always in favor of the confused. The laws of chance dictate that it should be pretty evenly split. Could the answer lie in the giveaway adjective, “deliberate”?

Such behavior is used regularly in everyday life. It’s also found in such high stakes professions as politician, attorney, and corporate leader. I have sometimes pondered if these types take a class in Confusion-1A in order to qualify for their jobs.

I recently heard about one particularly adroit practitioner of the legal arts who frequently “didn’t understand.” One wonders how he ever made it through law school. He got his comeuppance in an out-of-court conversation when his opponent also wondered if the judge in the case might understand better. Suddenly, our worthy lawyer experienced an “ah-ha” moment where he comprehended clearly.

Do you practice the artifice of deliberate confusion? Do you have an acquaintance, friend, or significant other who pulls it on you? Are you tired of it and want to escape from that particular hall of mirrors? Try the aforementioned technique. Propose to your opponent that you run the matter by (insert name of someone your opponent wouldn’t want involved). That may assist in clarifying the matter for him/her.

If you are among the deliberately confused, let me assure you that your ploy will soon become transparent if it is part of your modus operandi. It gets old real fast and is a turnoff to your victims. Be prepared to lose lots of relationships, and don’t be confused as to why folks are always bailing on you.

Photo credit: Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos on Visualhunt.com

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

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Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Amens and Attaboys

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

We all need to be acknowledged when we’ve done a good job. It makes us feel validated and proud of ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I have a reader who periodically responds to my blog posts with “amen.” It’s her one-word kudos to me that I’ve hit a button for her. It represents a confirmation of the hard work and effort I put into creating and bringing that labor to fruition.

Too many hold back from offering positive feedback to others for a job well-done. I’m not sure why that is. I suspect it has something to do with feeling diminished as you think that your own status is lessened when you raise someone else’s. People seem much more able to offer criticism, but affirmations stick in their throat.

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I had been in rehearsals for a stage play. One of the other actors was working hard on his lines and came to each rehearsal well-prepared. However, he was having a lot of trouble managing a particular prop. I went up to him while we were backstage waiting to start and whispered in his ear, “you are doing a really good job.” He just beamed. Then he started to explain how hard it was to manipulate the prop. He seemed desperate for someone to listen, understand, and weigh in. I told him not to worry about it, and that even if he messed it up, we’d just skip over the flub during the performance. He seemed so relieved by my brief attaboy. He’s been very warm and friendly to me ever since.

Sprinkle those amens and attaboys liberally. Don’t withhold compliments when they are deserved. Be big enough to tell someone else that they did a good job. It doesn’t mean that you are lesser than they are. It actually means that you are bigger than most people–big enough to acknowledge another human being. A few sincere words, a quick hug, or even just a simple pat on the back is all it takes, which costs you nothing. And, you just might make a new friend.

Photo credit: greyloch on VisualHunt.com

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Grabbing Life

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

We must all grab life with whatever means we have. Some of us have more capabilities than others. If you are not disabled, be mindful of how fortunate you are. Not everyone has your good luck.

If you are disabled, technology has provided you with assistive devices to make it easier for you to grab life. Use a wheelchair, walker, cane, or whatever to help you find a life worth grabbing.

Currently, I’m in rehearsal for a stage play produced by the drama club at my retirement community. When I auditioned for the part that I eventually booked, there were many people also there to audition. One was a woman sitting in a wheelchair. She maneuvered herself around the stage with no problem and no self-consciousness. What an inspiration!

Another member of our drama club is a very talented director, and I was privileged to be in a play a few years ago which he directed. He gets around on a motorized scooter. His talents as a director are not diminished by his assistive transportation mode. Throughout rehearsals, he just went about his business without giving any thought to the matter of his inability to walk. The actors in his play did the same. What an amazing person!

I’m really working hard now at my play rehearsals as are all the other actors and the director. None of us is being paid. I was wondering recently why I’m putting in that much time, effort, and energy into an endeavor that yields me no financial payback. The answer is obvious: my reward is “the sheer joy of it” and being around like-minded folks. Not everything that results in joy, excitement, and satisfaction stems from a financial transaction.

We all have a finite time of life. We also all have choices. Choose how you are going to live your remaining years, months, days, hours, minutes. If you decide to squander them on “poor me” behaviors, own the fact that you made that choice. It doesn’t have to continue that way, and you can reverse your choice at any time which, of course, is another choice.

Find your “sheer-joy-of-it” activity. Utilize whatever is available to assist you; there is no shame in that. Wheels versus legs still yields the same stage performance. 

Photo via Visual hunt

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Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

***

SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested, and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Pity Parties

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com

Now, on to my blog:

I have a friend who was involved in a serious bicycle accident a few years ago that left his face badly scarred. He began isolating, not wanting to go out in public because he felt so ashamed. He was convinced his appearance was off-putting to everyone.

Has something like that happened to you or someone you know? Certainly, if we feel unattractive according to current standards of acceptable appearance, it’s hard not to become disgusted by ourselves. We’ve all heard the old adage: “Beauty is only skin deep.” However, when it is you who is the not-so-beautiful one, it takes a strong person to go forth in spite of being physically unappealing, whether from birth or a future occurrence.

I once knew a man years ago who was born with a condition called giantism. He was large with very big hands and feet, and his facial features were all extremely exaggerated. Nevertheless, he projected such confidence and charisma that what was a shock upon first meeting him was soon forgotten. This man had a beautiful wife, two normal looking children, and was also an extremely successful businessman.

We all eventually learn to compensate for our shortcomings starting from early childhood. When a person is strong in some areas but weak in others, they naturally develop their strengths. That is how we decide what to study in higher education and what jobs to seek. Emphasize what you do well, and hone it to becoming adept and standing out in that pursuit.

If your imperfection happens later in life such as a sudden physical disfigurement, build up another area of your talents and lead with that in your interactions. For example, if you’ve always depended on your good looks and then lose them for whatever reason, develop that writing or musical skill that has been lurking in the background for decades.

Real friends don’t care about your impairments. We all have something wrong with our bodies both in our youth and as we age. Often, it is internal or mental, and it doesn’t show. That doesn’t mean it’s any less serious. Everyone needs loving support. Others understand and will react to you that way.

Try not to waste the precious time you have left wallowing in self-pity. I know it’s hard not to; we all end up there for a while and have to grieve our lacks or losses. But, then we must get back up on our bikes and cycle on.

Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash

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SYNOPSES OF BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN

Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors.  A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me.  This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever.  I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book.  I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting.  As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill.  I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.

***

Please forward my blog in its entirety to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at: gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.