This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors reinvent themselves in this new stage of their lives called retirement. Her blog, public lecture, and new self-help book on senior reinvention are titled: Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire. Her memoir is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Books descriptions follow her blog below. Both books are available at Amazon.com by clicking here and here. Her website is: LeeGaleGruen.com
CHITCHAT: I read a poem for Valentine’s Day on a local TV station. You might enjoy it. Here is the link: https://reflect-rossmoortv.cablecast.tv/store-4/3559-Valentine-s-Day-The-Hu-v1/vod.mp4
Now, on to my blog:
As an elderly woman, my mother let her illnesses define her. She was either going to the doctor, taking her medications, or complaining about how she felt. That was pretty much all she talked about. She would get mad if we, her husband and two daughters, tried to change the subject. We attempted to be understanding, but we were unsuccessful, and our interactions only made us share her depression.
I saw the same thing happen with a good friend. We had known each other for over twenty-five years. During most of our friendship, she was vivacious, fun, and truly a person who grabbed life. As she aged, she developed some serious health issues. Slowly, they begin to take over the fun part of her. The year before she died, she was depressed, angry, and joyless. I tried to be supportive, but it became a real downer being around her. I grew to dread our phone calls and visits.
My father spent the last two years of his life bedridden in a nursing home hooked up to a feeding tube. He, on the other hand, was upbeat and never complained. He greeted me with a big smile whenever I came to see him. We often played cards, and we also took “walks” which consisted of me pushing him around the block in his wheelchair as we chatted.
I had another friend who got cancer. She underwent serious treatments including a bone marrow transplant. She never spoke about her illness. She tried to stay involved in the activities of her family members and friends. If she felt in need of some rest, she’d just go quietly into another room and lie down for a while. She, a few other friends, and I went on a skiing vacation four months before she died.
Recently, I have developed some respiratory health issues. Fortunately, they are not very serious or life-threatening. Nevertheless, they have required a change in lifestyle. My diet is restricted, and I need to take medications, both orally and via inhaler. Yes, they cramp my style. Yes, they are a time suck. No, I don’t want to define my life by them.
I do not want to give up the activities I love. I am devising ways to modify my behavior. I refuse to turn into my mother or my first aforementioned friend. There are too many wonderful things to live for, and I plan to continue doing so with as much exuberance as I can muster. My father and my second above friend are my role models. They are whom I plan to emulate.
As we age, we can’t avoid illnesses. What we do have control over is how we choose to live with them.
Photo credit: Rob Ireton on Visualhunt.com
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BOOKS BY: LEE GALE GRUEN
Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire (self-help): Not a one-size-fits-all approach, this self-help book for retirees, those soon to retire, baby boomers, and seniors offers an individualized, detailed guide to assist readers in discovering activities and pursuits in this new stage of their lives called retirement, based on their own likes and comfort level. I learned the secret the hard way transitioning from retired probation officer to actress, author, public speaker, and blogger. Audience members at my lectures on senior reinvention requested a book on the subject. This is the result, and it contains the content of those talks and six years of posts from this blog. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.
Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class (memoir): After retiring at age 60 from my 37-year career as a probation officer, I mistakenly enrolled in an acting class for seniors. A few weeks later, my mother died, and I invited my grieving, 85-year-old father to come to class with me. This is the true story of our magical journey attending that class together for three years, bonding more than ever. I wrote the comedy scenes we performed onstage twice a year in the acting class showcases, and all six scenes are included in the book. I eventually transitioned into the world of professional acting. As my fledgling, second career started going uphill, my dad’s health started going downhill. I would recount to him each of my new experiences while I sat beside his bed at the nursing home where he resided in his final years. CLICK here TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON.COM.
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Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years 