Monthly Archives: October 2016

Respecting the Priorities of Others

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, and those soon to retire find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after retirement. Her public lecture on this subject is titled, “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, available at Amazon.com, is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Click here for her website: http://AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com

Now, on to my blog:

lampshades We all have our priorities. Why can’t lampshades be someone’s? I met that someone recently when I was shopping for the item in question.

I was wandering through a local shopping mall and strolled into a store that sold lamps and lampshades exclusively. The threshold tripped the bell in back whereupon a man I presumed to be the store owner emerged and asked the standard shopkeeper question: May I help you? I explained that I was looking for shades for a few table lamps. That was his cue.

The proprietor proceeded to educate me about lampshades and their importance in my life, a subject about which I had given very little thought. He made it clear that he was an expert in the field and, according to him, choosing the proper lampshade “is the most important decision you’ll have to make.” I never knew that, and I pondered over it for the appropriate period of time to satisfy him.

Together, we surveyed the store’s offerings as my host explained each shade’s details to me. One had to consider proportion, material, light emitted or blocked, price, color, and more. However, I had made a grave error. I had not brought my shadeless lamps with me for a proper fitting. I was embarrassed by my error and begged forgiveness. He succumbed, but only after I agreed to bring said objects the next time I came looking for their toppings.

After my guide told me he had been in the lampshade business for over thirty years, I understood his perspective. We all think that what we are doing is the most important, urgent, relevant pursuit there is. Although someone else’s passion may be totally different than ours and even something that seems silly to us, can’t we consider the point of view of others? After all, it may be something they have spent decades pursuing and perfecting, and who are we to decide that it has little or no relevance?

I’ve always treated lampshades as simply decorative filters for the lights I need in my home. However, to this man they were his field of expertise just as doctors, lawyers, and others have theirs, and it was refreshing to see him taking pride in his work. Lampshades were the vehicle to put food on his table and provide shelter from the elements. What’s wrong with that?

Perhaps we can respect differences of opinion, priority, or emphasis even though we don’t adopt them as our own? Although my focus in life is not lampshades, or least it didn’t used to be, who’s to say that what I deem most important needs to be so for others? Let’s accept, appreciate, and acknowledge that something like lampshades may be compelling and significant in the life of another? It makes bumping up against each other in a crowded society just a bit easier.

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Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

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Don’t Squander Your Complaint Quota

This blog is written by Lee Gale Gruen to help Baby Boomers, seniors, and those soon to retire find joy, excitement, and satisfaction in life after retirement. Her public lecture on this subject is titled, “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement.” Her memoir, available at Amazon.com, is: Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class. Click here for her website: http://AdventuresWithDadTheBook.com

Now, on to my blog:

two-girls

Complaining—ah, we all love to do it.  Some do it very little and others more so. Then, there are those who have honed it to an art form. They seem to complain frequently and obsessively. This constant default position can render their targets weary, ditsy, spaced out, and generally down.

It’s hard to confront the expert complainers about their behavior because their logical comeback is, “Well, you complain, too.” How do you get it across that it is a matter of degree, and who sets the rules on where the line has been crossed? That’s a tough one. Who am I to say that my amount of complaining is correct but yours is not?

To solve this conundrum, I’ve developed a philosophy that works for me; feel free to use it.  It goes like this: We are all born with a given amount of complaints available to us, sort of like a woman is born with a given amount of eggs that she ovulates monthly until they are used up. Some people spread out their allotment of complaints over their lifetime, while others use them up long before the inevitable final bell.

Once you deplete your allotment of complaints, you cannot complain anymore. If you try to do so, those of us on the receiving end are justified in simply walking away, hanging up the phone, or otherwise ignoring you. You may get mad, posture, yell and scream, profess you don’t understand, and all other manner of push back, but that’s it—no more complaints from you.

So folks, and especially the serial complainers, guard, hoard, and care for your allotment of complaints. It is not infinite.

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Please forward my blog to anyone who might be interested and post it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. To reprint any material, contact me for permission at:  gowergulch@yahoo.com. If you want to be automatically notified when I post a new blog, click on the “Follow” button in the upper right corner of this page and fill in the information. To read my other blog posts, scroll down on this page or click on “Recent Posts” or “Archives” under the Follow button. To opt out of receiving this blog, contact me at the aforementioned email address, let me know, and I’ll remove you from the list.

Photo credit (modified by user): <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/astrid/14570404716/”>AstridWestvang</a> via <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/photos/people-images/”>VisualHunt</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>CC BY-NC-ND</a>

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Filed under Uncategorized